#1
This song does not have a name and is not all the way finished but here's most of it. Let me know what you think, thanks. Also I don't really have the spacing (like where you start a new line like I did after girl, face, and belong) cause i haven't written it down so I'll just kinda wing it i guess. It's kind of a slower rock song clean in the verses and overdrive on the chorus i think.

Do I know you girl
I swear I've seen your face
You don't look like you belong
In this kinda place

Do you know me girl
Don't ask me why
Can you tell the truth to me
Or do you always have to lie

*(A verse of music with no words)*

You're the girl who never
Kisses on the lips
You won't look me in the eye
You're the girl who goes to
Bed every night
Praying for a second try

*(Different verse of music with no words)*

I know you've probably
Had it rough
You look misused
And I know you're probably
Had enough
So damn tired of bein used

Cause you're the girl who never
Kisses on the lips
You won't look me in the eye
You're the girl who goes to
Bed every night
Wishin she could
Turn back time
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And that's it for now, please let me know what you think. Thanks....suggestions are welcome.
#3
Quote by Amped1
no comments? please just rate it and i'll rate yours


Cool down soldier, people will get to it in time.

Quote by Amped1

Do I know you girl
I swear I've seen your face
You don't look like you belong
In this kinda place
Nice, it introduces the song well. A nice little, albiet obvious rhyme.

Do you know me girl
Don't ask me why
Can you tell the truth to me
Or do you always have to lie
I liked it, the song starts to twist, and a storyline is starting to appear.

*(A verse of music with no words)*

You're the girl who never
Kisses on the lips
You won't look me in the eye
You're the girl who goes to
Bed every night
Praying for a second try
Mmm, I liked it. It flowed well. It was simple, and easy to read. The rhymes were predictable, but still didn't dissapoint.
*(Different verse of music with no words)*

I know you've probably
Had it rough
You look misused
And I know you're probably
Had enough
So damn tired of bein used
Hmm, I liked it up to the last word. It was just a little too obvious that this was comming. Probably the only down point in the stanza, and not that bigger deal.

Cause you're the girl who never
Kisses on the lips
You won't look me in the eye
You're the girl who goes to
Bed every night
Wishin she could
Turn back time
This one was good as well, the last two lines were changed, but it made the stanza work well as an outro.


Overall, a good song. One little change, and it will be very decent indeed. Just be patient, crits will come. Crit for crit? My latest song in sig.
#6
thank you Xist, it's not as well written as I would like to be but it's my first real song so im alright with it and will hopefully later make it better.