#1
Crit4Crit

The miles get daily longer
Words come off abit more stronger
Lets makebelieve that love does exist
Pretend distance was nothing
And create our own twist

But the sayings are quite right
Even though you fought with all your might
Even your face wont shed some light
This is begins and ends tonight

Cold hands fake the sense of heat
My body fears lies of deceit
Reaching further, forward, on
The fear i made is now grabbed gone

Deception stars in these few scenes
The false love of two ****luck teens
The lovers emotions run so wild
the liars note was far from mild
The lovers devotion fails in this play
The liars script gets changed either way

lies of love give a new found start
love of lies gave her the old part
#2
That sounds pretty good, but i think it rhymes a too much if ya know what i mean. Try making a bridge to break it up and to keep people interested. Thats just what i think anyway and it isnt the type of thing i usually listen to. That could turn out to be a good song.