#1
You're always crossing your legs
As if to keep me out
Stopping every few seconds to make sure
I'm facing a different direction
Small talk made with the utmost
Discretion

My skin is
Politic thin so please,
Don't touch

And when the store closes we play
Two table tag and laugh
About your new paper cut

When you asked if I had any new wounds
I told you "I'd love to share my scars
But they run so deep that they're
Hard to see."

You said you could make them out, for the most part.
Last edited by ScarredFaith at Sep 11, 2006,
#3
Pretty good overall. The only real problem was the first two lines - I'm sure you can change that inot a more eloquent beginning, 'cause that just does not work at all. I'm sure you can do better on that bit.
#4
Mmm, I enjoyed, it's so short it's hard to find any real faults, I'd agree with the above on the first to lines, but I an't find anything here that I personally dislike.

Nice work.

Jamie