#1
Just wrote this, haven't thought of an appropriate title yet. But please tell me what you think!


Why you're just a slap in the face
A game we have to play until the end
You need to know you're just a clone
I've got to make you understand...

Maybe you do understand.
And maybe you don't.
Maybe I'm not the only one that knows that
Silence is the best way to not answer you...

Character is built on differences
So stop pretending
Those posters on your wall don't define what kind of person you are,
It's just who you'd rather be.

You worry about the future
Not knowing it'll be okay
Worried about losing friends...
Or worried about losing face?

From big fish to minnow,
Or from principles to shame?
From open road to dead end,
Or from crazy to sane?
ferret.
#3
The only part that I can say I loved was the last four lines. The entire thing is good at best. Not bad at all, just needs a little more creativity.
#5
Quote by Byt3man
Very cool, but what kinde of music is these lyrics for?



i'm thinking i might give them to my band hehe. so i guess it'll be rock with a punkish twist or whatever you wanna call it
ferret.
#6
It's pretty cool. Still think it could be better, though.

Those posters on your wall don't define what kind of person you are,
It's just who you'd rather be.

Those are my favourite lines. Me thinks they be goood . Thanks for the crit on mine, by the way
#7
i think it's good dont really get idea for it though, I'm more of a story orientated songwriter and that probably effects the way i see things but. it's not bad it's good i like the last four lines though as most people do, i like the word play

thanks for the crit on mine
SINCERELY WRITTEN FROM MY BROTHERS BLOOD MACHINE, MAN YOURE BATTLES STATIONS, WE'LL HAVE YOU DEAD PRETTY SOON

Coheed and Cambria: In Keeping Secrets Of Silent Earth 3