#1
I don't know if this is a good song or not .. but yeah .... it's my 1st attempt...i wanted to make something that is ...well more..like something people have made before .. you no something just to start with

{Clean}

These are the ingredients that made me

Listen well ..you might want to take some notes



Start with a pot of greed

Then Break my heart so full of rage

Thats been broken so many times

Then add an family that hates me

So dearly

And in the endless nights of

Crying myself sleep

And acuple of Cheaters

And liying assholes

These are what made me





But i guess lifes is ok thou

I got a job ..and a Wife that loves me

But i guess just becus i was made

With theses doen't mean i have to take them

With me to my grave



I'm not listening to you

The person who tried changing me

in to something i hate.....you

You tried changeing me in to you

I'll never turn out to be like you

The one I despise the most


Now you lose the only son you'll ever have ..

due to your Greed,hate and pain you put me though



These are the new ingredients

Of what i'll use


{heavier guitar part}

One pot of kindness

One heart full of love

One wife that loves me

and the endless nights

sleeping by her side

the trust , and good friends

{Very soft sound}


these are the ingredients i'll past down to make family

...I lost one thing ...to gain so much more....

Then i have never had before

I hope you die

From all the pain of your lies

Drowning in your own puddle of blood

Realising no one wants you
What I got
Epiphone 57' Les Paul Jr. limited
Gibson les Paul jr. historal (bad spelling)
LTD Les Paul ESP Custom
Epiphone Les paul
Washburn lion 4 string bass
Some effects
And 2 amps (two 30 watts amps)
#2
Sounds, real...idk, deep depressing and emo. But hell you don't need to listen to me what do I know about song writing, at least you can write a song.

2004 MIM Strat w/ Fender Hot Noiseless pickups
Sovtek MiG 60
Avatar 2x12 w/ Celestion Greenbacks
Snark Tuner
MXR Custom Comp
Fulltone Full-Drive 2
Dunlop JHM3 Univibe
TC electronic Nova Delay
TC electronic Arena Reverb
#3
well i play punk rock ....so yeah ...it's a song about my life ..untill i met my lovey Wife , and also my deep hate for my mom ...
What I got
Epiphone 57' Les Paul Jr. limited
Gibson les Paul jr. historal (bad spelling)
LTD Les Paul ESP Custom
Epiphone Les paul
Washburn lion 4 string bass
Some effects
And 2 amps (two 30 watts amps)
#4
Ya, deep although i have to say it sounds something that would go more into a poem than a song.
#5
yeah it is kind like a poem ... but yeah ... well it's my 1st one lol so yeah
What I got
Epiphone 57' Les Paul Jr. limited
Gibson les Paul jr. historal (bad spelling)
LTD Les Paul ESP Custom
Epiphone Les paul
Washburn lion 4 string bass
Some effects
And 2 amps (two 30 watts amps)
#6
seems kinda cheesy and cliche... I'd try something else
Quote by spazzymagee417
i would pay more for a midget corpse than an average size corpse
#7
how ... can you expline?
What I got
Epiphone 57' Les Paul Jr. limited
Gibson les Paul jr. historal (bad spelling)
LTD Les Paul ESP Custom
Epiphone Les paul
Washburn lion 4 string bass
Some effects
And 2 amps (two 30 watts amps)
#8
Well for starters:

Then Break my heart so full of rage Thats been broken so many times Then add an family that hates me So dearly And in the endless nights of Crying myself sleep And acuple of Cheaters And liying assholes....

due to your Greed,hate and pain you put me though These are the new ingredients Of what i'll us One pot of kindness One heart full of love One wife that loves me and the endless nights.....

Then i have never had before I hope you die From all the pain of your lies Drowning in your own puddle of blood Realising no one wants you..


Is pretty much a gigantic cliche. I'll giev you the advice I give everyone who has the same problem with falling into a cliche rut, try to describe an event. Don't tell a story express a story. Don't tell the listener what something is or how they are show them.

Ie: Don't say "I hate you for the things that you've done" say something like "The test was in forgivness and failure was your name" yadda yadda thats not the best example but I hope you get the idea.