#1
Written couple of months ago.

A style I made up called Devident. Evident/Descriptive. It's catchy stuff.

Devident: the pitch

Two men;
One above the other-
This is not gay sex.
One is bland, whereas the other
Is bland. From a distance of 8
Centimetres; they are identical.
They look slightly different from
Any closer. Not that you?d notice.
You wouldn?t notice. I would.
One copies the TV?s movement
Whilst the other does not copy it
Directly. The other copies the other
One. They look similar. One is
Slightly more advanced. One is
Slightly less advanced. They will catch
Up with each other one day and realise
They are one and their voices are in
Unison curse. Their clothes are of identical
Plastics and their minds have blended into one stupid scrap of monotony.

They?re running around on some grass-
They are not on concrete.
Last edited by thepickups at Sep 14, 2006,
#4
Unique piece, far from crappy. Far from brilliant, not so far from great. Submit to above average. Plastic doesn't taste well on the toungues of many though. Warhol got it wrong. Idiot savant sans the talent. Poor Warhol, but I digress good work, fractured, though makes a good kaleidoscope.

A more organized thought.
#6
Are you trying to say T.V. controls who what we do and some follow those who follow T.V. and although we think we're different we all end up the same and make no progress? Probably not. I'll save this and come back to it when I'm stoned.
Edit: Oh yeah, I really liked it a lot. Great writing.
#8
First guy got it spot on.

Thanks all.

I might explain a little more if you comment a little more.
#9
You know how no one believed Darwin when he explained the theory of evolution Glenn? This feels very similar to that; i think you know what i mean Very bold indeed, and it wouldn't be an insult to say that i didn't enjoy it much because who ever enjoyed old Charlie's theory either at the time? But we all know what happened next, and in theroy (scuse the pun) it could work in a similar way if nurtured in the right way.
#10
Lovely analogy.

I just hate writing in the same way as others, so I s____________________tep away.

This piece isn't that hard to grasp though.