#1
i know its not finished as it comes to me ill add it, and just so u know im new to writing songs so i would like honest crit to help me out thanks

Verse 1:
I remember when we were one
Those memories still taunt me
We were still much to young
To believe where we were going to be

Chorus:
These dreams are a distance
The distance from being with you
I still dream of the first glance
The moment i knew it was true...
#2
I really like the line "When we were still much to young" I like the feel of it. The chorus is realll weak though. think of writing lyrics like ou are telling a story. You want to build up with verse then culminate at either the chorus or at a verse change towards the end of the song.

Remember don't try to explain what events took place show what happened or rather show the event that happened in verse and culminate how you feel about it in the chorus. If you feel stuck or need inspiration read some poetry! That stuff rocks my nibblers!
#3
haha thats the one thing... most poetry ive ever read... i hate haha maybe its cuz the only poetry i read is what im forced to in school
#4
It doesn't have to be ryhmey poetry not all poetry ryhmes. You can also read short stories, read "Fall of the house of usher". If you are having problems with flow, and not the urinary kind, read something like "The Raven".

I always suggest poe because I love wordy, creepy lyrics. But theres also a bunch of others like Lord Byron, William Blake,Shakespeare (duh), Lord Tennyson Alfred, Walt whitman and william buttler yeats. All fantastic writters. All worth looking into.

In fact someone should sticky those guys in the tips and tricks sticky for worth while reading.
#5
thanks man, maybe ill start paying attention in english class haha and look into some poetry