#1
This Endless Night:

If tomorrow was yesterday
wouldn't time stand still
So everything would be allright
And I wouldn't have to continue through this endess night

If it was yesterday
It would hold me close
And keep me from
What came tomorrow

If it was tomorrow
Wouldn't it end
And I would be with you again
As I watch tomorrow end
And I watch the sunset begin
I begin to think, if romorrow was yesterday
I would be with you
Forever through


I don't really have a chorus, those are just three verses. I'm a beginner song writer so leave a comment to help me out some please. There's a lot of feeling in this song and that's what makes it probably my favorite of all mine.
#2
*sniff*

I like it.
Tom Morello > Adam

Adam>fax machine



(I'm a cookie in a caked up world)
#3
There is indeed alot of emotion there. I like it. I would like to see a complete version. It's awesome.
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I never thought I'd say this, but Bloody Piss sounds damn good.


The Iced Earth Thread
#4
Yeah it's not finished, everytime I start to add more it's not as good what I've already got. That's why I'd like some input on how to finish it or what i need to work on.
#5
I like it, a bit cheesy to be honest but good. I would change the lines "As I watch tomorrow end
And I watch the sunset begin"

I like that last line though "forever through" it breaks it up juusttt right

Good work! As far as suggestions on how to finish it go thats something you have to figure out alone my friend, haha
#6
I'm just stumped on how to continue it. I've about used up all my creativity for this song but it's not finished.
If people were ants then there would be no cake because there would be no one to reach the batter on the top shelf.
#7
Don't beat your brains up about it. Come back to it later then. Eventually, something will spark that creative fire. I liked it a lot. It seems like it could be really catchy.