#1
This is a poem I wrote that may or may not be put to music... I haven't decided yet.

Crit for crit, of course.

Naked Souls

If there?s a man alone in a room
Does he have a name?
With shadows for company in the gloom
Does he really even need one?

Language is a crude device
To capture one?s soul
Spoken words are too imprecise
To capture the spirit of a life

I think we all just wear our masks
To veil our naked souls
Hidden behind invented tasks
That weave a clever disguise
#4
any critiques for making it better?
Dem Dry Bones
Current read: I Am America (And You Can Too) (Stephen Colbert)
Album of the Week: Four Thieves Gone (The Avett Brothers)
#5
Well done. The words are very good. The message was absolutely awesome. The words also definitely carry some weight around. I don't have any advice to improve this, but I think you should write more stuff and post it. I really enjoyed reading this poem (or song, whatever you make it).
"Notes are expensive. . .use them wisely"-B.B. King

"It's been very important throughout my career that I've met all the guys I've copied, because at each stage they've said, 'Don't play like me, play like you."-Eric Clapton
#6
That was pretty awesome.I dont really like the first line,but thats ust me.
Great job
Tom Morello > Adam

Adam>fax machine



(I'm a cookie in a caked up world)
#7
At first it reminded me of Plato's Allegory ofcaves. But then later on not so much. It was going alright untill I got to "Masks" and "naked souls". Struck me as a bit trite.