Two short ones, I'd really appreciate some feedback.


I remember one time I was riding home on my bike
and there were two kids
who looked like 6th graders
and they were both blonde
and one said:
Where?s your helmet?
I just looked at him
Where?s your helmet? Use your helmet.
I kept on looking at him
Use your helmet
there were two of them
but we were along a street with a lot of
cars, and I probably could have eaten their heads
maybe thrown one into the street
maybe he?d get run over
maybe not
but I didn?t
it?d feel like kicking the **** out of a


It's all in the Image/Imagination

There was a guy sleeping in the dumpster
I found him when I went to throw out yesterdays newspapers
I said what the **** are you doing in there
He said he didn?t know, did I know?
I said yes
You were given chances and you passed them
And maybe someone loved you and you forgot them
And now you are here.
He said yeah
That makes us pretty close doesn?t it?
I gotta admit
He?s got me there.
Keep going.

You're going to get there.

Don't ask where there is, but keep trying

Make sure not to get too comfortable and try different ideas.

You're brinking on change.

Now step over and make it.
It might be too narrative, but the structure and the style is solid. It could be refined some more, but I honestly like it.