#1
Hey, I'm new to the forums, I've been writing songs for a while. This song is my latest, probably not my best but I still like it. I will likely post some others later. Criticism would be great but don't be too harsh

Worthwhile
I’m just sitting here alone
Wondering how it got this way
My love for you has grown
More and more each day

If there was only one more thing that I could say
It would be baby, why can’t you love me?

Chorus Every time I see you smile
It makes my life worthwhile
Every time I hear you laugh
I know everything is fine
So won’t you please love me
Make things the way they’re supposed to be
And make my life worthwhile


You told me all the things
I wanted to hear
But through my jaded eyes
Our love seemed so real

If there was only one more thing that I could say
It would be baby, why can’t you love me?

Chorus Every time I see you smile
It makes my life worthwhile
Every time I hear you laugh
I know everything is fine
So won’t you please love me
Make things the way they’re supposed to be
And make my life worthwhile

If that’s the way you feel
Then that’s the way it is
I can’t make you feel
Things that don’t exist

If there was only one more thing that I could say
It would be baby, why can’t you love me?

Chorus Every time I see you smile
It makes my life worthwhile
Every time I hear you laugh
I know everything is fine
So won’t please love me
Make things the way they’re supposed to be
And make my life worthwhile
#2
hmm....i hate to say this, but...i don't like this piece. I found it very cliched, and it doesn't flow well, in my opinion (whatever that counts for) It is by no means the worst piece ive ever read, but...yeah. Keep trying, practice makes perfect, all that jazz.


HaK!!!
<Han> I love Hitler