#1
"Homeless"
there you are
right after i park
my huge car
your endless stories
about your life
make when wanna go get a knife

chorus

Will you just shutup!{screamimg}
I don't wanna give you money
I don't wanna help you out
I just wanna go on my way {screaming}
Go back to the alley
where you belong
Hobo {scream}

All you like is
drugs and acholhol
Your shirt is full
of dirt and food
You smell like a dump
Get your hump back out of my face

chorus

I'm trying to walk away
You won't stop following me until i say
Stop i'm calling the cops [scream]
Go back the dumps where you came from[scream]
You start to run but you'll be back for more money[scream]

Now your gone
and im heading north
I won't be seeing again

"Venom"
Swaying in the world and drifting in it apart again.

Darkness falls over you, leaving you to lie again.



Shadows excert from the mist of night.


Hold your breath no where left to hide

Hold your breath and count to five

This is the end of your life


Searching through the shadows

Fighting for the sorrow

Grasp the light inside

You kill the demons inside


Chorus


Dround in his own vemon

The demons excert from him

Savior he is come to end the sorrow

these are the first two songs i wrote rate..
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Quote by oriolesazb
mine is probably that totaly awsomely hard solo in wake me up when september ends, evry time i hear that solo i drool.
#2
ok is it just me or does the first song just seem unoriginal and bland and kinda pointless
2nd ones a bit better......
#4
Yea. The first one is kinda pointless... and the second one doesnt really 'wow' me. It might just be me but its like b.c warlock is trying too hard.

The best lyrics come stright from you and they shouldnt be dressed up too much. Using your vocabulary is helps too, nomatter what genre. Working from a passionate thought or experience helps too.
#5
complete ignorance for the first song,you got some growing up to do.Most hard working people are about 2 paychecks away from being in that situation.Want to write about what you see on the streets,thats fine,dont like what you see, thats cool too but atleast try and understand it cuz it go's much deeper than lookin for a hand out.