#1
Stutter




This bed has become a home,
For a lost boy lost in you,
And the bare skin thats screaming for attention,
Is pacified wed stay here forever if we could,


(pre-chorus)
And I found something to believe,
And we cant stop this now,

(chorus)
I am stuttering to breathe,
But when I catch my breath I promise not to speak,
We'll stay here in this moment and learn to see,
With your eye locked in mine I finally start to live,


Its like seeing for the first time,
After years of straining my eyes,
But no matter what we become,
I want you to remember us now,

And I found something to believe,
And we cant stop this now,

(chorus)

I wanna breathe the way you breathe,
I wanna see the way you see,
I want you to show me what its like to feel,
Everything or anything at all,

(chorus)

thanks if you read, and more thanks to teh critiques...i'll check yours our if you do
#2
Wow , great peice, I love the chorus it's got a very good vibe comign from it and is quite a catchy little four lines. I put it together in my head and figured that this had to be from the brain of a man (or woman) who is influenced by a few metal bands. I dunno, just guessing. I just don't like the last little bit, it seems sort of cliche and the lines are over used. I liek the first one though, it's gnarly. Maybe add another verse and you would have a fantastic peice of work. 9/10. Crit mine? Links in me sig.

P.S: Sort of reminds me of John Mayer to.
If The Archers Bows Have Broken, Then I Hope To God They Know How To Fight.
#3
sweet yea the end i thought cliche as well...as it was written by our singer, and everone else in the band felt it should make this cd we are on but him....so whenever the recording is posted on our page our let you know, thanks

if you want to check out some of my music we got a couple posted at www.myspace.com/copperchild
Last edited by cmart227 at Sep 18, 2006,