#1
I'm picturing this as a piano-based song, something slow but powerful. Will work on the melody when inspiration comes.

Crazy

<Verse 1>
A flick of the switch in the back of my mind,
And I found something I never tried to find,
Cold hands stay warm with you as the glove......
But how do I know if it's LoVe??

<Chorus.>
It's hard / to find,
The right / state of mind
When I'm with her......
I'm totally crazy....
Born with / her kiss,
I chose to take the risk
And I told her........
She just laughed and called me crazy....

<Verse 2.>
Were we given clues along the way?
Like how our bond grew in less than a day,
The holding of hands through the night that we spent
Or the lump in my throat the moment you went,
Play everything back as I travel away,
And hating the fact that I can't, stay....
Stuck, and I just can't get enough........ but....
Who's to say that this is, LoVe??

(Chorus)

<Verse 3.>
A flick of the switch in the back of my mind,
And I found something I never tried to find,
At ease with this stranger I playfully shove....
But how do I tell if it's LoVe??

(Chorus.)

<Ending.>
10 hours away, lives my Holiday Girl,
And at the moment, she's my world....
Being without her is gonna be tough,
But who am I, to sigh, and call it LoVe....
#2
This is cool It kind sounds like a linkin park rap metal thingy. You can crit mine if you want it's called ''It's obvious''
With an irresistible blend of reggae induced hip-hop and catchy pop-punk hooks, Half Chance Heroes captivates audiences with their unique sound and energetic stage show. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T8bSU0u8uvM
#3
Really good. I liked everything until the last stanza. Maybe try and find something less typical. Plus, the title is super cliche. But the rest of the song I wouldn't touch, it's great. If you wanna bash mine, it's in the forum.
#4
Thanks descendent and n-ocentcriminal, I shall get to work trying to brighten up that last stanza, as I feel it does need something at the end to sorta break the verse-chorus-verse-chorus pattern.
#5
The only things i dislike are the last stanza and the LoVe thing....unless those are initials or something? Lonnie Verlander? idk.
<Han> I love Hitler
#6
The LoVe thing is just something I did at the time I wrote it in my song book, I often feel the impulse to write certain words a certain way and usually carry it across to computer version.

P.S. HaKattack = H.K.? :P
#8
This song rocks! The rhyming is a bit forced, but that's cool. I like how verse 1 and 3 are kinda like a before and after thing, very smart. Also the pattern of the whole thing is a bit predictable and overused these days; change it up a little.
The whole LoVe thing is awesome, I'd leave it if I were you.

Feell free to check out mine. It's called Masquerade, thanks!
Cause I love feelin' dirty
And I love feelin' cheap
And I love it when you hurt me
So drive those staples deep
#9
Thanks! perhaps I could throw in a small little bridge somewhere in there to break it up? what do you think?