#1
Death Eternity

The intense flame that once used to be,
is dying out and becoming misery.
And as I walk this dark somber night,
I'll let the wind blow out my only source of light.

The way I feel is the way I want to be,
so leave me alone as I jump into death eternity.

Another night I cannot fight for the strength to get by,
Self hate and misguided thoughts leaves me to die.
I'll leave this world knowing that I tried,
because everything I strived for has been denied.

The way I feel is the way I want to be,
so leave me alone as I jump into death eternity.

Any good? Constructive critisism please.
#4
This rocks! Don't change a thing, I give it a 10/10. It's amazing. I love how you used the metaphors and the somber tone to get the point across. You should definitely add more or write some more lyrics like this. On that note, do you have any more work on this site, I'd love to read it. The title is perfect for setting the tone and mood just right for the rest of the song, I'd love to hear it. It would defintely kick major ass. A++++!

Oh if you want to, please give me some tips on mine, it is nowhere near as good as yours, but any tips would be greatly, greatly appreciated. It's called Masquerade, thanks!
Cause I love feelin' dirty
And I love feelin' cheap
And I love it when you hurt me
So drive those staples deep