#1
Umm... this is a song about an accident with a semi that killed a guy and sent his truck rolling into the lake. I don't know how you'd sing it, I don't sing, I just like writing lyrics. Needs work, I know, I just want some suggestions.

DRINKING WITH JFK

2 1/2 weeks ago I had an accident with my pickup truck
It was 2:00 P.M., I think
When the cops came they found the drivers name was Chuck
He was delivering lumber shipments, I think

And when they found his body
I was burned like crispy chicken
Nobody came to his funeral
Except his dad, uncle and his sister, Megan

They found me in the lake beside route 91
I had a big skull fracture, didn't make it out
They buried me next to my cousin and some guy named John
I think he worked in the furniture warehouse

They couldn't find the truck
It was buried into the lake beside the highway
Nobody cared anyway, though
It was a crappy used '79 Chevrolet

(Guitar solo would probably be here)

Now I've showed up early to the grave
Now I'm drinking with JFK
"Isn't it amazing anything's accomplished
When the little sensation gets in your way
Not one ambition whisperin' over your shoulder
Isn't it amazing you can do anything " - Gord Downie

From the song " Fireworks"
#2
I dunno what to say, its good but weird, what with the tense changes??
A recent study shows that 92% of all teenagers have moved on to rap music. Put this in your sig if you are one of the 8% who stayed with real music.

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#4
Ok, cool, will work on it. Its my first try anyway so, meh.
"Isn't it amazing anything's accomplished
When the little sensation gets in your way
Not one ambition whisperin' over your shoulder
Isn't it amazing you can do anything " - Gord Downie

From the song " Fireworks"
#5
If you drop the 'JFK' name you have to follow through with a very good piece or else its mildly disrespectful to both yout audience, the man, and yourself. This wasnt a very good piece. Listen to Ret and read the lyrics tips thread
#6
Synth that's assuming everybody loves the man that was JFK
Can you see in the dark? Can you see the look on your face?
#8
highly debateable. but that's not for these forums. and since i have posted in here twice i'll give oyu some advice/ a crit.


I thin kthis would work fine as a country song. Because those don't tend to be too deep or have any kind of hidden stuff or metaphors or just any interesting parts period.
Can you see in the dark? Can you see the look on your face?
#9
Yeah, I know it sucks but whatever, was worth a try.
"Isn't it amazing anything's accomplished
When the little sensation gets in your way
Not one ambition whisperin' over your shoulder
Isn't it amazing you can do anything " - Gord Downie

From the song " Fireworks"