This is the first song I ever completed,music, lyrics and recorded. I dont know how to put it on here for you to hear but let me know what you think.


Sometimes we live,one time we die
sometimes we cry and dont know why
sometimes it hurts to be alone
sometimes it cuts right to the bone

do you believe in yourself
do you believe
or do you lie to yourself
do you decieve
are you mad at yourself
are you empty
are you hungry for wealth
blood money!!!!! yeahhhhhh.............pick it up now

sometimes we gotta take a chance
sometimes we gotta bight the hand
sometimes we bleed just to survive
sometimes you wonder why you try

do you like what you see
when you look around
does the life you lead
bring you down
or is your life in check....(check 1,2)
wired for sound
can you carry the weight
pound for pound!!!!!


sometimes its hard to see the light
sometimes its hard to know whats right
sometimes times all you got to give
sometimes we die but never really live

do you believe in yourself
yougotta believe
or do you lie to yourself
dont you decieve
are you hungry for wealth
are you willing to bleed
are you mad at yourself
just like me........
just like me........
just like me........
just like me.
The first verse was nice albeit a bit cliched in the rhyme scheme I suppose, and repeating 'sometimes' irked me. I found the last line a little on the strong side for such a fragile choice of words initially. But the simplicity was nice so don't get me wrong.

The second was once again repetitive, but I liked the rhyme scheme more, it was a little more complex and the 2nd and 4th lines hook you a bit more. Had a whole theme of money, power hungry competitive bastard to it.

Third was once again repetitive. Repeating sometimes so much would, at least for me, get annoying, but I just like a lot of variation in words in songs. Maybe it's just what I'm going through right now but I was struck by the first line, sometimes we gotta take a chance. Honestly if I were you I'd somehow work that into the first line of the whole song.

The next verse had a very NIN sound to it. Good imagery, loved the last two lines.

Argh! Sometimes! And the third line with the sometimes times thing just seems like it would be an awkward thing to sing. But, once more, loved the "we die but never really live" because it's true.

Last one was a bit optimistic at first which was a nice little spice into it. There was more repetition but that's just your style, I just dislike too much repetition.

Overall, despite the repetition it was an okay song, could be good if you worked around the repetition thing and used more image invoking words. Potential though.