#1
This is not meant to be serious, or even very good, but I'm proud of what I wrote and would appreciate some opinions. Crit for crit and all that jazz.

Wizard's Sleeve


The Dark Lord gave unto thee
The ability to seduce
Any man that you did please
And from what I can deduce
You overused your powers
And gained a reputation
For your shocking prowess
In sexual gratification
The Dark Lord he punished thee
He gave unto thee a wizard?s sleeve
Where your cunt should be
Baaaaaaa'
#2
Evening, finally getting round to this after a hiatus from the interwebnet. I'm only going to be brief because this was brief. Round and round, it was quite good, although nothing spectacular. There are enough descriptions and it has a good story. What I didn't like (and you may well find this surprising) is cunt. For the feel of the poem/song, that word is too forward and heavy. Apart from that, not too bad.
#4
dont know what to think about this one. it did make me chuckle so thats a good thing.

First of all i thought it was a standard mystical fantasy type deely.
as i read on it seemed to take on a more modern structure. i quite liked the rhyme on the "gratification" part.
the end seems like it was written by a drunken terry pratchett.

it was a bit comical, but that may be mainly due to the last line sort of coming out of nowhere.

peace out
--------------------i'm definitely the alphaest male here--------------------