#1
alright this is my first song started playing guitar bout a year ago anyways

Slow down, slow down your eyes
This just might be a blessing in disguise
Lights, and colors so vivid in the night
who's to say who's in or out of their mind

Light my candles down in a daze,
Turn in circles, I start to drift away
You may think that I'm still here,
It's only better for a fraction of a year,

Let's all float awat from here,
There's no need to feed the fear,
It seems as though this might last,
To miss the future, and lose the past

Light my candles down in a daze,
Turn in circles I start to drift away,
You may think that I'm still here,
It's only better for a fraction of a year,

Don't really know how to write song but think it needs another verse.

edit, maybe this couold be next verse

Pains gone time to rize amove,
Worlds so full of meaningless stuff,
Walk for miles then sleep for days,
Its not fair but we still pay,

then course or somehting like that.
Last edited by lacey23 at Sep 22, 2006,
#3
I like it, you should add more to it. The thing I like the most is your title, "manic depression", it's so... cool. It catches your attention and fits with the lyrics, without actually being in the there, you don't see that much. My favorite line has to be " To miss the future and lose the past", awesome. What does the usic sound like?

If you feel like it, please crit mine. It's called Masquerade, thanks!
Cause I love feelin' dirty
And I love feelin' cheap
And I love it when you hurt me
So drive those staples deep
#4
Quote by lacey23
This just might be a blessing in disguise


I'm not sure but I think if you rearrange this line to "This might just be a blessing in disguise" it will flow better. Other than that I really like this. Take a look at mine, if you like. It's in my sig.
Baaaaaaa'
#5
I noticed a couple stolen lines and the title should be changed so it isnt the same as the jimi hendrix song
#6
Umm. I know it's kind of late, and I havn't been on for a few years since posting this. But just noticed I made this thread, and thanks for the comments.