#1
New song i wrote with a friend for her sister...hope you enjoy

20 unlit cigarettes 20 bucks in my pocket
and the flowers are on the wall
sitting here next to your memories
but my ass wont get off the floor

You tell me im wrong
I tell you your right
and your hair is as bright
as the darkest of nights

photos take me back
to a different time
when you were by
my side

5 cigarettes burned down to the tip
and im still laying on your bed
wonder if you are strong
i want to give you my strength

You tell me im wrong
I tell you your right
and you kick in your sleep
as you count away the sheep

neon stars dangle
from the ceiling
and you dont
pray kneeling

One last tear before i say good bye
One last chord in your lullaby
and please dont you let out a sigh
just let it hang out to dry

song co-written by natasha M.
#3
It was okay. The song's flow was a bit choppy, imo, and I'm not sure what your rhyme scheme is. You do have some awesome parts in it, though, like
"You tell me im wrong
I tell you your right
and your hair is as bright
as the darkest of nights."
That part is kickass. Keep writing!

P.S. Did something happen to your friend's sister?
"Notes are expensive. . .use them wisely"-B.B. King

"It's been very important throughout my career that I've met all the guys I've copied, because at each stage they've said, 'Don't play like me, play like you."-Eric Clapton
#5
It seemed average,b ut that's th only bull**** you hear on the radios nowadays anyway. Try a lil bit more from your soul next time. Not horrible though