#1
Hey! Well, I'm trying to write a song, but I am TOTALLY a country hick and I need to know if this sounds like an okay country song. It's only the chorus so far, which is why I need someone to help me finish it

CHORUS:
Just let me take your hand
Just let me hold you tight
Cause, baby, there's no way
I'll make it through tonight
Without you here with me
I have no room to breathe
And I just can't go on
Without you loving me

So don't break away...

Please tell me what you think and help me out! lol
Last edited by pAIGEaSHLEY at Sep 24, 2006,
#2
Hehehe... doesn't take much to be a "Country Musician". Almost anything can sound country if you make it. I hate country with all my soul, but I can say this... Make sure you have loads of "Ford" decals on your Acoustic.
#3
lol thanks zuka!! lol yeah thats alright at least you're into music! lol so do you think the lyrics were okay? i really have no idea what im doing lol I've never written a song before lol
cHEER uP, eMO kiD!
#4
I don't think anyoe here is going to help you finish it, this is mainly a place for critiquing lyics, not collaborating on projects.

At least you started decently, at the chorus, so you know what the idea is you are writing about. It's a solid chorus, the only thing I can recommend to you to improve your writing and possibly help with the rest of the osng is to look at the lyrics tips thread at the top of the forum, and post any lyrics questions you have in the only question thread.

Jamie
#5
Ok, i see. I just started today so I'm confused lol thanks! I'll think of some more lines and put them in. thanks again!!
cHEER uP, eMO kiD!
#6
Alrighty! I'm back and I still need comments and critics!!
cHEER uP, eMO kiD!
Last edited by pAIGEaSHLEY at Sep 24, 2006,
#7
I have alot of respect for you for putting yourself out there like this. Lyrics are really important but in my opinion are hard to critique without music.

Do you have a song written for these lyrics? Do you have a vocal melody in mind? This important to judge if the lyrics 'fit' with the music.
#8
God, please don't bump your pieces, read the FAQs.

This is a forum, not a chat room, be patent.
#10
Thats a pretty strong chorus. I think the line "without you loving me" or atleast the last word of it needs to be changed to rhyme with "so dont break away" I think that works well,specially in a country song.so you may need to reword that line or maybe the line even before that one to make it easier. I love the Title,I wouldnt change that, like a Bull "BREAKS" out of the gate.....Dont Break Away is great...very country..lookin forward to reading the updated version.
Last edited by LaLaLaLoopy at Sep 26, 2006,
#11
Thanks! LaLaLaLoopy, i will change some of the lyrics! lol thanks a million! any suggestions are great! i havent quite thought of a riff yet, but if anyone thinks of a tune to go along, just message me i 'd love suggestions! lol
cHEER uP, eMO kiD!