#1
Here is a metal piece that i have worked on for two afternoons now. it isnt quite finished but i'm actually quite happy with how it has turned out thus far. Anyway, please crit and i'll crit your powertabs/midis if you leave a link with your comment our have a link in your sig.

Thanks
Attachments:
song.zip
Quote by masterohumans
there is something wrong with you that has nothing to do with that instrument you want to build.
#2
I liek that verse its catchy. The beginning sounded a bit liek trivium's new stuff

Feed my eyes, can you sew them shut?
Jesus christ, deny your maker
He who tries, will be wasted
Feed my eyes now youve sewn them shut
#3
I like the first riff alot! But I would try to make the solos a little more melodic. Pointless shredding is not really interesting..
Keep up the good job.
#4
Nice. The solo's were a bit of a blur however....
Quote by MoogleRancha
It's like Fenriz and J. Read

"I'm so happy to love metal and stuff"

"I AM metal"
#6
yea thanks guys. i agree the solos should be more melodic, especially the second one and i'll work on them later. i'll crit yours now snipy
Quote by masterohumans
there is something wrong with you that has nothing to do with that instrument you want to build.
#8
awesome dude i loved it, every riff was awesome.


i didnt like the 2nd solo as much as the first, but it was alright still.


it might have ended a little too abrubtly for me though.
#9
I like the main riff being diminished, that was a nice touch, usually dont see that being used to well but u made it work. The solos dont have to be diminished though, u could go with a pentatonic or maybe even natural/harmonic minor.
#10
Quote by beadhangingOne
I like the main riff being diminished, that was a nice touch, usually dont see that being used to well but u made it work. The solos dont have to be diminished though, u could go with a pentatonic or maybe even natural/harmonic minor.


Yea i think you're right. i'm thinking of keeping the first solo as is with the diminished scale and everything, but then completely changing the second solo to be a lot more melodic and use the natural/harmonic minor like you seggested

thanks for the crits everyone
Quote by masterohumans
there is something wrong with you that has nothing to do with that instrument you want to build.