#1
Hey! I'm not realy a professional song writer and u're gonna see why i'm saying this, but i'v been writing some ssort of love song for the girl of my dreams, pretty, nice, polite kinda perfect.... tell me if she's gonna like it (predict the weather plese )
Pretty basic and a bit stupid....


This is my love song for you
'cause i've been dreaming of you

and everytime i miss you
or when i'm sad...
i look at you,
and i know everything's fine

seems like i felt in love with an angel,
one of those who fell from the clouds
and deep inside i know...
that a mortal could never get an angel...

but somehow i still love you
divine been
I think I need...
you're divine help...


don't judge the rythim because you didn't heared the song.
It's a bit small i know but as it is slow it get up to 3 mins with solos and stuff like that...
#2
dunno if you're gonna find some "already used" sentences, i'm more a guitar player than a song writer
#3
that was to steriotypical, make it more original. stick in a metaphor or a simili something, use a butterfly, or her sign thing (scorpio aquaris w/e, i dunno what theyre called.) if you want to talk about angels then a good idea would be like "i look to the clouds for angels, and by looking up i tripped over you" or something like that. its short and sticking solos and stuff in it isn't gonna impress her. the words are what matter to a girl. thats about all i have to offer, but lastly and this you probably know, do it on the acoustic guitar. it gets to chicks knees faster. they like it more.

peace and love and good luck - zakk
#5
Quote by BMTuga
Hey! I'm not realy a professional song writer and u're gonna see why i'm saying this, but i'v been writing some ssort of love song for the girl of my dreams, pretty, nice, polite kinda perfect.... tell me if she's gonna like it (predict the weather plese )
Pretty basic and a bit stupid....


This is my love song for you
'cause i've been dreaming of you

and everytime i miss you
or when i'm sad...
i look at you,
and i know everything's fine

seems like i felt in love with an angel,
one of those who fell from the clouds
and deep inside i know...
that a mortal could never get an angel...

but somehow i still love you
divine been
I think I need...
you're divine help...


don't judge the rythim because you didn't heared the song.
It's a bit small i know but as it is slow it get up to 3 mins with solos and stuff like that...


I'm sorry, but I really don't like this piece. I might need to hear it, as you said, but it doesn't flow well, and it is so cliched it almost hurts. Nothing personal, though.
<Han> I love Hitler