#1
This is the first time ive ever posted lyrics so go easy...
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Verse

Standing in the rain
and i dont mind
never did its just a waste of my time

Standing at the bridge
and looking in
never thought youd have to pay for my sins

Standing at the edge
i only felt
a little rain and it was just so swell

Chorus
I dont mind you
I dont like you
I cant stand you
But ill try to
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So anyways thats all i have right now and id appreciate some feedback thanks
#2
omg your so stupid your supposed to read the rules omg your supposed to title the topic the name of your omging song omg
#3
First of all read the rules for the board--no more "crit please" threads post THE TITLE and that alone.

But after that--you're incredibly vague--I love the subject matter, but expand on it. there's not much there, it lacks a strong voice
#4
This is not good, not good. Did you write this just to write this? That's the feel I get from it. I think you're missing actual emotion in this. I mean, you use the word rain quite a bit for how long it is. I really don't like the way it ends or the part where you wrote "I only felt a little rain and it just felt so swell."
I did sort of like this part, but it's not enough. I'd work this into a different song, or revamp this one entirely "Standing at the bridge and looking in"
By the way,
check out my song "Blue Idle Hands".
The link is in my sig.
#6
Yeah sorry about the title...shoulda the rules i guess lol
I should have really said this before but whats written their is just the first verse not the whole song or anything ...
#7
I love your chorus, I imagine it being belted out by a Chris Cornell or someone of that caliber. Awesome!!!! glad to hear this is just a 1st verse but what is the title.....quickly B 4 it gets locked up.
#8
I dont have a title for it yet umm i have to still think of one ...yes im incredibly lazy writing half a song with no title