#1
Revised the song: Here it is;

Verse 1-
Sometimes I feel like running away
When your're pissed off,
Don't even know what to say,
Will you just go away,

Chorus-
It's easy for you to say,
When your not me
It's easy for you to say,
Just let me free

Verse 2-
It's easy for you to say,
And you say it ev'ry day,
You say it when I'm outside with my friends
While I work and while I sleep

Bridge-
Well I'm pissed this time,
It's blowin' my mind

Chorus 2-
It's easy for you to say,
when your not me
It's easy for you to say,
Just let me free
Well I'm pissed this time,
Will my sanity I find <to guitar solo>

<guitar solo>

Repeat Chorus 1

Chorus 3-
It's easy for you to say,
When your not me
Your tellin' me ev'ry day
Not acceptin' my plea
Well I'm pissed this time,<Instruments stop on rimshot>
And its blowin my mind

<HUGE ASS ENDING WITH DOUBLE BASS BEATS AND ****>

END
Seattle Seahawks


Quote by chookiecookie
i feel like you have an obsession with aubrey plaza.


Quote by WCPhils
at least we can all agree SGstriker is the woooooooooooooooooooooorst
#2
Quote by SGstriker
I wrote this last night after getting into an arguement with my parents about my grades.

(It's) Easy For You To Say

Verse 1-
Sometimes I feel like running away
When your pissed off
Don't even know what to say
When you go off
Baddd attempt at a song. Not a good opening. I hate the "When you're pissed off.", it's too unorgonal, same with "When you go off." Don't use off twice, don't make it rhyme that much, either, it sounds childish, IMO.

Chorus-
It easy for your to say,
when you only know half of it
Its easy for you to say
when your talkin to me
This is okay. I'm not sure what you're trying to say, but it's not bad.

Verse 2-
Its easy for you to say,
and you say it every day,
You say it when im outside
with my friends while I play
Again, very childish. "you say it every day" is boring. You should change it to, near my friends, out while I play, or something.

Bridge-
Well im pissed this time
Its driving me blind
Rhyming just to rhyme again? This is again very bland. Pissed is such a bad word. Not artistic at all.

Chorus 2-
Its easy for you to say
and you say it every day
You say when i go outside
with my friends and while I play
Well im pissed this time,
and its driving me blind

<guitar solo>

Repeat Bridge
Repeat Chorus 1
Repeat Chorus 2(with guitar solo)

End

Crits please. I wrote this in like 10 minutes



It shows you wrote it so fast. I don't like it,
work harder at it and take more time. That would help.
Crit my song Blue Idle Hands, if you would. The link is in my sig.

PS:
this is my crit to the old one. I don't feel like reading it again,
maybe I will later.
You can probably pull advice from this anyway.