#1
its an indie acoustic love song, tell me what you think cheers.
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I couldn?t sleep the other night
Was scared of something going right
Cos when I met you the first time
How I wished that you were mine

And any problems in your head
Will disappear each step we tread
I will get you through bad days
coz I?ve never felt this way

And when things aren?t shinning bright.
I will try to put them right.

And when you?re feeling really low.
I will take you places that no one knows.

And in those days you just wanna cry.
I?ll be there right by your side.

no I couldn?t sleep the other night
Was scared of something going right
Cos when I met you the first time
How I wished that you were mine

And any problems in your head
Will disappear each step we tread
I will get you through bad days
ohh I?ve never felt this way

And when things aren?t shinning bright.
I will try to put them right.

And when you?re feeling really low.
I will take you places that no one knows.

And in those days you just wanna cry.
I?ll be there right by your side.

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thanks for reading!
#2
This isnt so bad , the idea behind it is alright but nothing lyrically here to cling on to. Repeating the whole thing over isnt the greatest, Id definately reword some lines to try and make it a better read.Using words like....and...coz...but...the... should be used sparingly,think youll find you can do without em alot here and that makes room for other more descriptive words later in that line.......just my thoughts....good luck to ya and keep on writing.