#1
Tell me how I can improve them please and what you think, thanks


Charlotte's Song

I feel empty and alone
I can?t be on my own
I can?t reach within
To tell you how it?s been;
Without you to love
I can?t be enough
For you to need me,
It hurts, it does.

You?re a part of me
And I can?t let it be
Cos I love you
But you don?t need me.
You?re a part of me
And I can?t let it be
Cos I love you
But you don?t need me.

When I fall
I say your name
It brings me back
Is it just a game?
I miss you
Those weren?t your words
I need you
These are my words

You?re a part of me
And I can?t let it be
Cos I love you
But you don?t need me.
You?re a part of me
And I can?t let it be
Cos I love you
But you don?t need me.

I can?t find the words to say
To tell you I think about you each day
I wish one day you?d know
I want you to love me too.
#2
i like the first part..but the rest is too lovely..

"u are part of me" ILM! jaja

but its nice..!
#3
I think it's far too much like In Loving Memory by the mighty Alter Bridge, try and develop a few more of your own ideas, good luck though
#6
i have no idea who alter bridge is... but i'll say that i see a lot of posts on here about "you took this from someone else..." but in all honesty everything sounds like everything else and part of that is because songs have been written about the same subject matter for hundreds of years. As long as there's truth and meaning in your lyrics you can pull it off... but if its uninspired you won't be able to.

as for a crit i'll start from the top... i like the title because you don't feel obligated to reference the name "charlotte" throughout the song, kind of a "she knows its for her" type deal. i really liked the first stanza however, i think the subsequent lyrics are a little bit redundant. i think for a song such as this, you may need a little more content or at least some subtle changes in the lyrics. And i'm not exactly sure why but "I miss you,Those weren?t your words, I need you, These are my words" irks me for some reason... maybe lack of flow?

anyways, sorry if that wasn't much help, good post.