#1
critique for critique


I just made myself completely vulnerable
Please forgive me if I try to forget it
I don?t know what you?ll think of me now
Wide open, eyes shut, fists clenched

You make me want to change this
You make me feel conviction
You show me how to love
You show me, You show me

It?s the only thing coming through my speakers tonight
It?s the only thing I?ve been able to focus on
I?m looking at your pictures with hopes and dreams
I?m the king of terrible timing
#2
The middle stanza, which almost seems like a chorus, was very good. Nice use of repetition of the words. Reminded me of something Nickelback would do. About the outside stanzas, i think they were mediocre, maybe if you clarify the flo or include a rhyme scheme, you could pull it up a level. I wasn't bad, dont get me wrong, its just it could be better worded... but its not too bad, keep working on it.

please could you crit back? link is in sig by latest.