#1
This kind of ride dont come free.
Im not asking for odd looks,
Id just really prefer,
If youd open your checkbook.

Im not looking for a ride, on the wild side.
Cuz your not some pretty boy.
No not some pretty boy.
I live a life.
I live a life.

Im just as much a person,
As any one of you.
And im not asking for odd looks.
Cuz this kind of ride dont come free.
This kind of belief dont come cheap.
You know the number.
You know the number.
Im not asking for odd looks.

------------------------------

This is intended for a hardcore/post-hardcore band in the vein of like fbtmof and fall of troy and such....anyway, tell me what you think
#2
From that title I expected a witty, conversational type piece that was full of spark and tongue in cheek humour.

I was disappointed, you didn't live up to the title. Your flow needs some big improvement, imagery needs to be added for effect, metaphor would also come in handy, and like I said, wit and turn of prhase would make this a more exciting read.

As it was, this is mediocre and pretty average.

If you could return, it's in my sig. Many thanks.

Jamie
#4
Louisville? What school do you go to?

Anyway... Funny lyrics. Oh so true as well. Nothing to fix, as its so short.
Quote by MoogleRancha
It's like Fenriz and J. Read

"I'm so happy to love metal and stuff"

"I AM metal"
#5
is this title from an episode of friends?

...in other news, i liked the lyrics. it's a new point of view to write from. don't really have any suggestions for it. good work.
#6
I'd agree with jammy, sorry. It wasn't bad, but nothing stood out. I'd also like to get a choir together to sing harmonies on the phrase, "fuck off you cunt" to carpmuncher, who told you to kill yourself.
"You can never quarantine the past."
#9
Cool song, dude.
Cause I love feelin' dirty
And I love feelin' cheap
And I love it when you hurt me
So drive those staples deep
#10
it was okay i guess. The title reminded me of a crappy panic at the disco song title. So I shuddered. Not really much to say other than to lengthen the lyrics a bit

I'm a hypocrite
#11
sorry man but i can't imagine this song being anything but a Panic! At the Disco type song... that doesnt have to be a bad thing... but i dont know if you're willing to change the type of sound that you had in mind for it... either way i'm not seeing hardcore in this at all... i think you can still work with it though.

Like everyone else said... it's too short... but if you're going for the type of song that doesn't deviate in it's lyrics too much then just throw a break-down verse in after what you have... sing that verse twice in a row... then go back into one of the first parts of the song to close... a breakdown will lengthen the song quite a bit without adding too many new lyrics.

All in all its a good idea... just needs a bit more substance... the title works too i guess... but if you're gonna keep it then you should come up with something pretty clever for the breakdown to balance the song out with the title.

and if you see one of my songs lying around check it out. later.
#12
tbh this song kinda seems 'outlaw country' to me. but maybe thats because of the 'cuz's and the poor grammer. whatever tho, it doesnt seem very post hardcore. it sort of lacks substance
and yeah, the title has a lot more depth than the actual song, which is never a good thing.
overall it just kind of seems empty.

keep at it tho.
peace out
--------------------i'm definitely the alphaest male here--------------------
#14
eh, the songs ok 6.5/10, but the title left me wanting more. like, the title alone made me look at this song, but it doesnt fill its shoes enough, decent start, but needs work
Nikolas