#1
So yeah, since i figured out how to put my music on the computer, ive basically recorded all the songs i think sound good. Here's another, its really quite short and i'm hoping to add to it, because I like the general feel of it, bare in mind though, there's one bit in the song I had to sort of improvise because I couldn't find the correct chord. Found it now and i'm going to re-record it. Crit for Crit as always.

www.myspace.com/daneveritt

A short song.
.Brand New.Bright Eyes.This Will Destroy You.

THRRRRRRRREADKILLER!
#2
I am not even going to bother crit for crit. That song just plain sucked. I could not tell all of what you sang, but I did not even need to because I had already gotten the idea of what the song was about. It was about someone who wishes they were Conor Oberst, but are not. And you suck at life.
#3
Quote by Carpmuncher
I am not even going to bother crit for crit. That song just plain sucked. I could not tell all of what you sang, but I did not even need to because I had already gotten the idea of what the song was about. It was about someone who wishes they were Conor Oberst, but are not. And you suck at life.


Who the hell is Conor Oberst

And of course you're not to crit for crit, you don't have a song to crit, put some of your stuff up and lets see how you shape up.

EDIT: If you can't tell what i'm singing then you're deaf, you must be deaf, Mr. Mc deafy Mc Deaf, get a hearing aid Mc deafy.
.Brand New.Bright Eyes.This Will Destroy You.

THRRRRRRRREADKILLER!
Last edited by Cpt.Jackass at Sep 27, 2006,
#4
Its alright. The guitaring is pretty good, but the vocals went off pitch in a few places. Nothing a little work cant sort out though.

Keep it up.
And carpmuncher is an ass lol

Crit back?
Mine is in this forum, called 'Balamoosh'.
#5
ur song has a good song and really nice structure, just need to work on teh general quality and ur vocals a bit. But still dude it was good
#7
Quote by Carpmuncher
And you suck.



And you really think that will stop me?

And by saying i'm like Conor Oberst, you're actually paying me a compliment, I love Bright Eye's music, that means you suck at insults.

EDIT: Thanks for the constructive comments the other guys made. I'll crit them when I get back, I have school now.

Quote by Lemmon


Crit back?
Mine is in this forum, called 'Balamoosh'.


Could you send a link please?
.Brand New.Bright Eyes.This Will Destroy You.

THRRRRRRRREADKILLER!
Last edited by Cpt.Jackass at Sep 28, 2006,
#9
Quote by Carpmuncher
I am not even going to bother crit for crit. That song just plain sucked. I could not tell all of what you sang, but I did not even need to because I had already gotten the idea of what the song was about. It was about someone who wishes they were Conor Oberst, but are not. And you suck at life.



I did not say you were like Conor Oberst, I said you wished you were Conor Oberst.

So you still suck, and can't read.
#10
Right whatever, you've proven your point, made an ass of yourself, now sod off.
.Brand New.Bright Eyes.This Will Destroy You.

THRRRRRRRREADKILLER!
Last edited by Cpt.Jackass at Sep 28, 2006,
#11
MM, I was going to crit 4 crit, but i got a "Invalid Friend ID.
This user has either cancelled their membership, or their account has been deleted."

P.S. I used some sort of soundfont my friend sent me.
70's Japan Greco SuperPower
Amps: '65 TRRI - Peavey Classic 50 4x10 - Epiphone VJ Head (Modded) - 2x12 Celestion Greenback Cab
FX: BK Tube Driver - EH Small Stone - MXR CC
Acoustics: Breedlove ADSM20 - Alveraz 5021 12-String
#12
Hmm thats really strange, I clicked the link I provided, then it said the same thing. Went on my other myspace and I got on fine, and managed to log in.

EDIT: Ok it works now, try it again
.Brand New.Bright Eyes.This Will Destroy You.

THRRRRRRRREADKILLER!
Last edited by Cpt.Jackass at Sep 28, 2006,
#13
Pretty good. Good use a bit stronger of a driving force - maybe some percussion or rolling bass lines. The chords sound pretty good, though the lead could be spiced up a bit more. Maybe just something a little more exciting. The musicianship is pretty good, though. Good job \m/
#15
Vocals are an area that I need to improve, so i'll get working on it, thanks for the comments.
.Brand New.Bright Eyes.This Will Destroy You.

THRRRRRRRREADKILLER!
#16
The guitar in this song is really cool. Rather folk-ish. Now about the vocals.... You were off key about 75% of the song. This isn't a big deal, you just need practise. Keep on singing, sing as much as you can, and eventually you'll learn to stay in key. Keep up the good guitar work!
Gear:
Epiphone Firebird VII
1968 Silvertone Mosrite
Speyer Acoustic Electric
Johnson Metal-Body Resonator Guitar (FOR SALE)
Rover Mandolin
Jim Dunlop Crybaby
Traynor 15w Tube amp
Electro-Harmonix Big Muff Pi
#17
I know you're looking for crits on that song, But the other song attracted me a lot more.

The "Through the Slats" song is really good, but some of those notes/runs you do in there are off key, or it sounds like you're out of tune.

Overall, I'd say work on staying in key, and you should be good.

And don't listen to the dumbassess who knocked you. I thought it was good.
And if ever You come near, I will hold up high a mirror.
Lord, I could never show you anything as beautiful as You.
#18
Well i've asked my parents for vocal lessons for christmas, because like everyones said, I could do with keeping in key

I'll crit back right now. Thanks for teh comments.
.Brand New.Bright Eyes.This Will Destroy You.

THRRRRRRRREADKILLER!