#1
O.k. to light up all the sad and angry song here are two happy ones!


GIVE UP ON YOU:

You tell me I'm a fool
You tell I need to get a clue
You tell me how I ain't cool
Well, tell me why I can't stop thinkin bout you

You tell me how we can be so cruel
You tellm me "I hope it ain't for you"
Well tell why I never give up on you

Midnight somebody cries
Midnight somebody dies
Midnight somebody lies
Midnight I show you how to catch fireflies

You tell me how we can be so cruel
You tellm me "I hope it ain't for you"
Well tell why I never give up on you

followed by solo and more chorus......


WHAT"S YOU NAME:

Spied you, from across the room
Got to movin closer, baby, tryin t get a better view
Caught me starin, but I wasn't ashamed
Cuz, I had somethin Else to say

Whats your name, girl
where you from
where you goin
baby can I come
Whats you game, girl
away we'll run
take me somewhere
nobody else can come

See you smilin
in the pleasant moonlight
You remind me
of everything thats right
And I'm sorry
I stole a kiss tonight
But your just so perfect
Tell me how I'm gonna be polite

Whats your name, girl
where you from
where you goin
baby can I come
Whats you game, girl
away we'll run
take me somewhere
nobody else can come

Solos and more chorus follow.....


The solos are awsome.....
Yep, thats my songs, they are a bluesy-popish rock songs in case you couldn't tell....
Tell me what ya think.....
Quote by ironman1478
im romanian and am offended. most of the people in romania make americans look like autistic kids on ritalin
Quote by ProfessorJim
I'm autistic and on ritalin and am offended. Most autistic kids on ritalin make americans look like romanians.
#2
First of all...you can only post 1 per day, 2 per week. Delete this thread before a mod locks it and you get scolded/warned/banned.

That being said, these songs, no personal offense intended, suck. All the rhymes are forced. Many lines are weak. All the lines are cliche. The chorus for the song "WHAT"S YOU NAME" sound almost exactly like lines from the Eminem song "Superman". You need to take the ideas from these songs, and start all over. Good ideas, horrid presentation.
#3
the first song wasnt that great. Rhyming line after line after line gets annoying, other than the RHCP, it doesnt really work well. The second tune ,I like the chorus, however if it is too much like an Eminem song(i wouldnt know) thats not good. "take me somewhere,nobody else can come doesnt flow very well, I d change that around.
A crit on "Fly High" will be appreciated.