ok well this is my frist song ive ever wrote.. well some of it, im not done, jsut tell me how im doin so far..... be brutally honest but use constructive criticism please....

You said you loved me
But i dont know what to think anymore
When i saw you kiss him
My heart crashed down to the floor
And now my mind is so mixed up
I dont know what to do anymore

jsut tell me how it is... suggestions are appreciated
Do you, you, feel like I do?
ah dont worry about what any of these jerks here think jus keep writin, and im guessin ur prolly about 13 or something so what i would do is write a bunch of songs, they dont have to b great or anything bcus (no offense intended) they prolly wont b, jus write about something u feel so that way people can relate, and then since youre obviously ur a bassist put a catchy little loop behind and get an guitar player to play some simple major chords for u and a drummer to give u a nice little beat and get up there and sing ur heart out and if someone comes up there and tells u it sucked punch him in the face and tell him to get his ass up there and do it and thats how u do it