#1
two weeks ago by bro died will drinking and driving. RIP Micheal Allen Tharow.

the pastor stops
no longer can he hold back his tears
as the mother gieves

a brother lost
no one can find him or save him now
and as i sit down to morn, i remember

all those times that i needed you
all those times that i blead for you
all those times i wish i could undo
all these times i prayed for you

the rain begins
the umbrellas, they open up
as a rainbow forms around your coffin

the air thins
and i loose my voice
as i try to say goodbye for the last time i remember

all those times that i needed you
all those times that i blead for you
all those times i wish i could undo
all these times i prayed for you


you put your life infront of mine
just the same as the beer in front of you
you grab your keys to your car
just the same my love to you
you take your last breath over the cliff
just the same my happy life

all those times that i needed you
all those times that i blead for you
all those times i wish i could undo
no longer can i pray for you.
#3
it sounds like a country song
(no offense)
other than that its good
i couldnt really find anything wrong with it

EDIT: rereading it
that last verse is a bit sketchy
could be better but still pretty good
#4
given the nature of the song, and the story behind it, you've managed to avoid making this a ponsey memorial song. instead you have some very eleoquent lines, with strong imagery.


Quote by ToPher4life

the pastor stops
no longer can he hold back his tears
as the mother gieves

.


this line is probably the best of the piece.

i do however have one problem with it the chorus; i find it a bit forced. but again i bet that matters little.
Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.
#5
WOW.......first off ...my condolences. I lost a close friend due to that same reason,not the same I know, however this reads the same as his funeral and memories are coming back..... I think you've definately captured the moment here i dont think I'd change a thing....I do disagree with your last line though.
#6
My condolences as well. I like the song. TONS of emotion poured into it.
Seattle Seahawks


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