#1
-When We Are Together Again-

I want to hear your voice
To know that you're there
If i could see you one last time
To tell you that I care

I'm sorry for the bad times
And I thank you for the good
I would not forget our memories
To rid this pain if I could

The one day we'll be together
Promise me just this
You'll sweetly hold my hand
And forever we shall kiss

To hold you and love you
Is my only wish
I'd give up the universe
Just for one last kiss

Let rain fall from the sky
To wash the tears from our eyes
One day, when it is the end
We can be together again...

::edit:: i know the end doesn't flow to well, any advice? ::edit::


Sorry about the emoness of the song

RIP September 24th, 2006

critiques are welcomed
Last edited by dehcatspjs at Sep 29, 2006,
#2
what about

Let rain fall from the sky
To wash the tears from our eyes
and in the end maybe
we can be together again

that kinda ruins your rhyme scheme, but imo your abab was getting a bit repetetive
#3
you're right, but i can always make that the chorus

it would fit in better i suppose and would kick the monotony of the ABAB ryhtym
#4
oh right, sorry i'm new to this forum and i'm still getting used to the terms

crit for crit