#1
welcome to my jungle of blood and tears
i am your hands and your feet
Oh how the sun sets and I can't feel my flesh
What does this iron claw mean to me?

Act like water will soothe that pain
When the burn was not caused on land
The profit from the bottle
Will not save you this time

I no longer wish
For your pain to soak my cloth too
Your scratches are weak, my love
And I am made of lead

Close your eyes and extend your hands
I offer nothing but a thanks
You've shown me my closed doors
My window that allowed red light

I'll still watch from my hourglass
Finding time to pay the sands
Through my heart and lyre
This chair remains warm


So long.
#2
I realize a lot of songs aren't amazing if you just read them off the paper. Would All Along The Watchtower still be good without Dylan's voice singing like he does? But usually you try to rhyme the stanza's.
[quote="'-[NiL"]-']You're not done being flamed in your other thread yet

My guitar was here first so lay hands off my soul.
Last edited by Mental Hop at Sep 29, 2006,
#3
^^^ Rhyming does help alot

something else i noticed is that the syllables are preventing it from being as smooth as it can be, try to get all of them to be around the same legnth