#1
I wrote this song for my best friend, Matt Keyser, who was only 8 years old when he died last October. I wrote this in his memory. Matt, I'll love you forever!

I can hear you calling me,
And I can hear the beat of your wings.
You left all too soon for me,
Never got to know my true feelings?
My heart, it drums in the silent night,
Your past love cradles me tight,
And I know everything will be all right,
For you, oh, for you.

CHORUS:
Time is pulling me down,
I feel like letting you go,
But I can?t just let the past,
Fall down with the rain.
Life is pushing me away,
I can?t hold on to your hand,
But I can?t just let the past,
Let the past, just go away.

I try to hold on to reality,
I want to be everything you used to be,
To show how much you meant to me,
But my heart, it won?t let me go free?
I need you to guide my way,
Because on this path, I?ve gone astray,
And I don?t want to let go of another day,
Because I want to live it for you,
For you, oh, for you.

CHORUS

(Solo)

CHORUS
cHEER uP, eMO kiD!
#2
This song i really like, i love this song, i can imagine this on air play, radio..i can like totally relate too..i mean really good work here man,, truly awesome
#3
thanks. i tried to think of everything that i feel for him, just how i want to start living. its hard, and this is a topic for a song i guess thanks agaiN!
cHEER uP, eMO kiD!
#4
This is a great song, dont know if Id like it as much not knowing the story behind it but that dont matter anyway.Its a real heart felt piece and by far your best. and its nice to see its the whole song. "I can hear the beat of your wings" is a great line. I even put some chords to it,dont know if its how you play it but.... My latest is "Fly High" also pretty much a true story, a crit from you would be appreciated......good job.
#5
ok thanks! i'll check it out! you usually have some amazing songs!
cHEER uP, eMO kiD!
#6
first, i gotta say, i was confused that your best friend was eight years old, but your 6 days older than me...oh and, its kind of annoying to have every other letter in your posts and stuff capitalized LiKE ThIS, but hey, im just here to crit a piece so...

The flow of the thing as a whole is awesome, it jst goes together, never really an interuption, im also loving the tight, night, right, rhyming in the first stanza even if its fairly simple.

The chorus is good, i usually dont like the repition of the same phrases or similar ones like "the past", but this worked out fine.

The second verse is kind of bland, with the AAAABBBB rhyming, which worked in the first verse but gets kind of old.


Overall, this is good, the chorus though, is only mediocre, i know i said it was fine, but i'd really like to see you take a crack at something more elaborate. You know, experiment with rhyme schemes, really make it the focal point of the song.

Nicely done, glad to see that your honoring your friend.
#7
lol well he was my best friends brother actually, and he was a good friend of mine. I liekd him a lot...great kid. Yeah i'll cahnge the sig lol okay thanks for the post! ill take your advice about the rhyming b/c i can agree w/you there lol thanks again
cHEER uP, eMO kiD!
#10
it's really good, especially the chorus. i can relate in more ways then one, so it was espceccially good. i wouldn't recommend many changes, but this line:

But my heart, it won?t let me go free?

could be reworked. the substance of it's good, just not the wording, i think.

if you could plese crit either or both of these please, much appreciated. cheers

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=436179
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=6934010#post6934010
#11
i think it is really good it shows ur feelings and it flows really well
overall good song
#12
Quote by MilichichiBass
I liked it, but I can't get what your "feelings" towards him are... he was only eight right?


I mean like...he was like a brother to me. Yeah, basically my brother.
cHEER uP, eMO kiD!
#13
cool....same concept as my song "the man in black" but yours is so much better...my friend died when i was eight too....

peace out
UG's HIPPIE
#14
thanks! i bet yours is probably the greatest. i think songs with stories have so much potential. i am so sorry to hear about that
cHEER uP, eMO kiD!