#1
Sitting here in solitude,
Three months to this day,
Stuck in a rut of thought,
Trying to break away

I yearn to feel, a cease of the numbness
I crave companionship, antidote to loneliness

Pondering the possibilities,
Of what is and what could be
The idol mind is the devils workshop,
Or so it?s been told to me

I cant help but feel like a waste of potential,
Going nowhere fast,
An entire summer wasted,
Time ill never get back

I yearn to feel, a cease of the numbness
I crave companionship, antidote to loneliness

Pondering the possibilities,
Of what is and what could be
The idol mind is the devils workshop,
Or so it?s been told to me

I?m beginning to believe,
After all these years,
Boredom corrodes my sanity,
A destruction hope can not heal

I yearn to feel, a cease of the numbness
I crave companionship, antidote to loneliness

Pondering the possibilities,
Of what is and what could be
The idol mind is the devils workshop,
Or so it?s been told to me

Pondering the possibilities,
Of what is and what SHOULD be
The idol mind is the devils workshop,
I?ve just begun to waste away?


Crit for crit
#2
Overall, pretty good. I feel like the chorus and pre-chorus are repeated too much. Maybe a few more verses in between repetitions or fewer repetitions would strenghten the piece.
The line "What is and what could be" is kinda similar to Led Zeppelin's "What is and what should never be." Not that there's anything wrong with that, I think it fits the song, but people will criticise that.
I like a lot of the individual lines: "Stuck in a rut of thought" is a very brief but eloquent way of wording that feeling. "Pondering the possibilities" I like, if only for the alliteration. "I can't help feel like a waste of potential" has nothing poetic about it, but I do really like it.
The pre-chorus is a bit trite, however.
But other than that, good job.