#1
Take me on I emplore you,
Fight the spawn of satan,
For he plays guitar with his left hand
In the village of the damned.

Dance the dance,
Play the game,
Echoes of hoofs on wood
Of life, none understood

Black eyes, Red Tears
Crooked Smiles, Twisted Dreams
Dance with me,
For I am not, what I seem

Dance the dance,
Play the game,
Echoes of hoofs on wood
Of life, none understood

- Ok so this is my third shot at this lyric thing... its not intended to be "demonic teenage wankfest music" and If it looks that way or is cliche'd, then Im sorry. Its more an acoustic peice and having tested with my Ovation last night, it sounds much better like that. Anyways, Crit4Crit.
#2
This was ok...I really like the "Black eyes..........for Iam not, what I seem" bit. Its very short...a bridge would be nice ...something more about being damned/cursed for eternity type stuff. but not bad so far....My latest is "Fly High" your crit is appreciated.
#3
it was pretty good. I liked the overall structure. The first stanza was so cool lol. I don't know why, but i just loved the plays guitar w/ his left hand in the village of the damned thing, lol. And the part LaLaLaLoopy talked about was good too. Could be a little longer.

My newest is "Killing Me Inside (Distraught)" Crits appreciated.