RedDeath9
UG's Nu/Shyguy
Join date: Aug 2006
3,129 IQ
#2
Hey that was pretty cool. The intro was alright, nothing too special. It started to get pretty good at around bar 36. I really liked bar 50 and on. Overall 8/10.

Crit mine? It's in the sig.

EDIT: Well not anymore, here's the link.

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=445715

I'll crit some of your other stuff later.
Last edited by RedDeath9 at Oct 8, 2006,
Stolenidentity1
UGsRetarded baby on crack
Join date: Jan 2006
724 IQ
#3
i agree, its gets amazing around 36, im my own bass cause yours is boring (no offense) still love the song its great just like your others


pm me your email, and i can send my bass part when im done
Quote by unfathomable_bo
Well it isnt hard to bend a string that has the tension of a piece of well cooked spaghetti, especially when you have hands like goalkeeper gloves


My songs: (more to come) (C4C's)
Screams fell silent underneath the black sun
Night_Lights
I've been here too long
Join date: Jan 2005
863 IQ
#5
i started liking it more as the song went on, though nothing can top Idle Wing. that song just pwns everything.
Youtube covers

[url="http://www.youtube.com/user/MrJumboHumbo[/URL"]
Schecter86
Registered User
Join date: Jan 2006
969 IQ
#7
finally, someone i recognize on here, lol, i liked it a lot, it flowed really well, and at the same time, kinda outside of the box, like said before, it really picked up at bars 36 and 50. You, Dark Sonata, and Humanities Death should post more stuff, i miss listening to your guys stuff, they really made me push my self cause they were just so damn good, lol, nice job! crit any of mine if you wish, there all in my sig, thanks!
Fatt Sorum
UG's Resident Emo
Join date: Oct 2005
819 IQ
#8
wow, that was cool, the breakdown from bar 50 onwards was extremely well written, the minor chords with the extra minor 3th as a root (sorry for speaking so techinically - its like this - X476XX) worked well with the stacatto piece

crit mine? (in sig)
Quote by JoNnHannah
I'm homeschooled because I got tired of the corporate conformist administration.

So I have a pretty crime free school, unless i decide to kill someone.



The Search [GP5] C4C
Spark1284
Registered User
Join date: Feb 2004
244 IQ
#9
wow that was really good, it was short and that depressed me. i think the clean area could use some work on the rhythm, cuz it just wasnt sinkin in for me, but as soon as the electric part jumped in it was amazing, and the solo was just ****in awesome. i wouldnt change a damn thing. killer, keep it up
MYSELF INFLUECE I


soo much n00bage
Quote by xX Maverick Xx
sorry to bust everyones bubble but lamb of god arent "hardcore" theyre death metal, and therefore metal.
hthedinga
Registered User
Join date: Nov 2005
1,536 IQ
#10
Stolenidentity1: yeah, i had meant to go back to the bass line and just use that as the groundwork of it, but forgot. it could be better of course, but with all that's going on with the guitars, it doesn't need to be that complicated. i'd like to hear yours though and maybe i'll make changes to this one.

DarkSonata: yeah, i have little time for this anymore, this is actually some old stuff that i just added a little too. not as polished as the past few i've submittied. that's quite the compliment though. thanks.

Night_Lights: haha, idlewing. you've heard the recorded version of that haven't you? hopefully i'll be able to suprise you some day with something better than that one.

Schecter86: thanks a lot. i have little time, but i'll see what i can do about getting to yours.

Fatt Sorum: yeah, i'm not sure about the theory lingo you're using (i know theory - i just don't understand what you're saying), but yeah, i like that chord you mentioned too.

Spark1284: thank you kindly. i really want to make some longer stuff. this was actually something i made a while ago and just added a bit to.
aprescott_27
Friggatriskaidekaphobic
Join date: Nov 2004
859 IQ
#13
The only thing I would change about the song is the ending. I don't like the whole ending on a climax thing. Maybe go back to the first part with the jazz guitar before ending.

On the same note. The resolution from the 3rd-to-last bar to the 2nd-to last bar was AWESOME! I know it's just a V-I resolution, but it seemed so much more awesome than usual. Excellent work! Loved it. I'm going to listen to it again I liked it so much.

Crit some of my stuff? Links are in my sig, newest is at the bottom.
METAR KTIK 040043Z COR RMK TORNADO 1W MOV NE. EVACUATING STATION
HumanitysDeath
UG Board King
Join date: Jun 2004
264 IQ
#14
I liked every little bit of that.
Except the part where it ended, and I had to close powertab.
Seriously, it sounded like it ended abruptly. There is definately room to add on here, and I really think you should look into doing so.
Other than that, great job. Love it.


edit:
Quote by Schecter86
finally, someone i recognize on here, lol, i liked it a lot, it flowed really well, and at the same time, kinda outside of the box, like said before, it really picked up at bars 36 and 50. You, Dark Sonata, and Humanities Death should post more stuff, i miss listening to your guys stuff, they really made me push my self cause they were just so damn good, lol, nice job! crit any of mine if you wish, there all in my sig, thanks!

Aww. I feel loved.
I got banned not too long ago, and after that, I was anti-UG.
I have been working on some stuff lately, so I think I'll post some of it.
This forum has always helped push me in the right direction.
<3
Spiral Out
Last edited by HumanitysDeath at Oct 16, 2006,
hthedinga
Registered User
Join date: Nov 2005
1,536 IQ
#15
rkay: i'm an old man...just turned 21.

SGxMastodonxSG: thanks.

aprescott_27: yeah, i don't like the ending either. it's pretty much that way due to the way i wrote the song, which is really jumping around the song, adding to it until i was stuck. glad you liked it though. i'll see what i can do about getting to your songs.

HumanitysDeath: ha, thanks. might just add on to it one of these days.
gutsman
Registered User
Join date: Nov 2004
285 IQ
#17
Wow great stuff man. You take all these chord progressions and make them flow so well to eachother, not a moment of your song was I bored

and about the basslines, the second one seems to have some off-notes (or maybe they're intended that way). it's cool but the first one suits the song better in my opinion
ouchies
UG's OG
Join date: Jan 2006
1,613 IQ
#18
Quote by hthedinga
Here's the bassline Stolenidentity1 came up with. In short, I don't like it, haha. Not be to harsh, but maybe I'll make a new one. What do you think?


i dont like that bass line at all
Stolenidentity1
UGsRetarded baby on crack
Join date: Jan 2006
724 IQ
#19
meh whatever, i didnt start writing on my bass till line 34 the rest i did at mid-night, it really the only thing i like bout my bassline anyway, i could fix some parts but once again i wrote most of it late, and oh well /wrist
Quote by unfathomable_bo
Well it isnt hard to bend a string that has the tension of a piece of well cooked spaghetti, especially when you have hands like goalkeeper gloves


My songs: (more to come) (C4C's)
Screams fell silent underneath the black sun
Last edited by Stolenidentity1 at Oct 23, 2006,
ouchies
UG's OG
Join date: Jan 2006
1,613 IQ
#20
i really would like a recording of this one. i think its my favorite of all of your songs, even though you might not think so :3. i downloaded your other songs and put them on my ipod hehe
pinion18
UG Member
Join date: May 2005
178 IQ
#21
The bass is a little agressive in the beginning, and goes haywire throughout the song with a mind of it's own, while so much of the melody and character in the composition are in those simple guitar parts. Even if you want to have melodic bass, slow it down a bit, decrease the volume, and have it compliment the feel without standing out. Moving to the original composition minus bass: I have heard all of your compositions from this forum, and your gift with simplicity and minimalism is so rare and enlightening. Haven was absolutely astounding for such a straightforward piece, and this song brings me most back to that. I can tell you love your beautiful clean guitar riffs, and melodic guitar leads that would challenge a symphony orchestra in power, as much as we do. 10/10, Write more often.