sebastian_96
Spared no expense
Join date: May 2006
1,209 IQ
#1
This song is called 'Carnifool'

This song reflects alot of soft feelings and represents my 'chill out' mode.
Its not complety finished but it does have a bass part which probably needs updating but you get the picture
hope you enjoy
Crit 4 crit
Attachments:
carnifool.zip
Some people like cupcakes exclusively, while myself, I say there is naught nor ought there be nothing so exalted on the face of God's grey Earth as that prince of foods:



the muffin!
Last edited by sebastian_96 at Oct 20, 2006,
aprescott_27
Friggatriskaidekaphobic
Join date: Nov 2004
859 IQ
#2
Hey, that was cool. I liked how the distorted guitar did the chorus, but bit of a better transition from clean to distorted is needed. Unfortunately, I'm not sure how to do that.

I liked the bridge.

The change to Asus2 at the last chord is cool.

One thing I would do is go back to those chords you used in the intro sometime. It would give the intro some continuity with the rest of the song. Overall, cool song, man.

Care to crit some of my stuff? Links are in my sig, newest is on the bottom.
METAR KTIK 040043Z COR RMK TORNADO 1W MOV NE. EVACUATING STATION
sebastian_96
Spared no expense
Join date: May 2006
1,209 IQ
#3
Hey thanks alot,

yeah that intro was wipped up very quickly..ill fix it up. And about the transition...i tried but nothing seemed to fit in quite well so that was my last idea.

sure ill check your stuff out for sure.
Some people like cupcakes exclusively, while myself, I say there is naught nor ought there be nothing so exalted on the face of God's grey Earth as that prince of foods:



the muffin!
Envion
Registered User
Join date: Jul 2006
24 IQ
#4
thats is a really, really good song
im especially likeing the end solo there good job!
MOOSE ATTACK!!!
Registered User
Join date: May 2005
94 IQ
#6
I really liked the verses and the chorus. The bridges are fine, and the transition from clean to distorted needs improvement. You could always put clean with distorted, or have a volume swell. Either way, it probably should be more developed.

I'd love feedback on my new song. It's in my sig.
sebastian_96
Spared no expense
Join date: May 2006
1,209 IQ
#7
thanks for the feedback
i have mad a better intro and the transistion between Interluda and Chorus is good

so check it out plus i fixed up the Cello solo a bit more.

again thanks
Some people like cupcakes exclusively, while myself, I say there is naught nor ought there be nothing so exalted on the face of God's grey Earth as that prince of foods:



the muffin!
guitarbreaker
Aeolian Flight Modulation
Join date: May 2005
854 IQ
#8
Hmmm very RHCP like, I like but I do have to point out some issues, half the triplets seem to mess up the song a tad bit but that could be also fixed with adding a bass or second guitar. Also some parts the cello plays a cellist would have a hard time playing in real life or could not do it, the slides are possible but are harder for them to play, bends they can't really do and full chords they can not do, only two notes. Overall it was decent piece.
hthedinga
Registered User
Join date: Nov 2005
1,536 IQ
#9
i was actually expecting something more out there. this was great. the addition of the distorted guitar and cello made my day. maybe you could add a bass part. have it be pretty high up on the neck most of the time, then when the distorted guitar comes in, drop it down low. i wasn't feeling the cello part at measure 44. also at 47 and 48. you could have the decresendo start sooner on the last chord. maybe have it resolve instead of what i'd call antiresolving, but have the resolution be quieter. i enjoyed this. nice job. check out my tunes if you'd like.
sebastian_96
Spared no expense
Join date: May 2006
1,209 IQ
#10
thanks for the advice
im adding a bass part and possibly a 2nd guitar.
and i changed the cello to an Alto Sax seen so it is near impossible for a cello to do that!
be sure to check it out soon when finished.
Some people like cupcakes exclusively, while myself, I say there is naught nor ought there be nothing so exalted on the face of God's grey Earth as that prince of foods:



the muffin!
sebastian_96
Spared no expense
Join date: May 2006
1,209 IQ
#11
bass has been added
cello changed to tenor sax
fixed some guitar parts
and transition flows

please check it out and crit
Some people like cupcakes exclusively, while myself, I say there is naught nor ought there be nothing so exalted on the face of God's grey Earth as that prince of foods:



the muffin!