fav13andac1)c
Poor son of a gun Texan
Join date: Feb 2005
2,021 IQ
#1
this is my first composition

not finished yet tell me what you think!!!

(attachment deleted)

Edit:The attachment is now MY last post i made at the bottom of the thread...
Last edited by fav13andac1)c at Nov 17, 2006,
ouchies
UG's OG
Join date: Jan 2006
1,613 IQ
#2
It sounded pretty good. Get a backing track in there because it got kind of boring just listening to the leads
Nunwhxre 666
You have ****ed up now!
Join date: Aug 2006
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#3
Not bad. But, I agree with ouchies. It does get a tad bit boring listening to just leads. Try adding a backing track. Even if it's just some bar chords or even powerchords. Other than that. Pretty good. Crit mine if you get a chance? Links are in my sig.
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fav13andac1)c
Poor son of a gun Texan
Join date: Feb 2005
2,021 IQ
#5
just finished

well not finished but put in a backing track

what do you think?

Edit:

(file removed)

There's a new updated version at the bottom of the page!
Last edited by fav13andac1)c at Nov 23, 2006,
Nunwhxre 666
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#6
SOunds much better now that it has a backing track. Only problem is, in measures 2 and 3 (and a couple others which I don't feel like going back to re-state) The leads clash with the chords and it sounds a little dissonant. Other than that, good stuff.
Quote by 1201ZJ
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aprescott_27
Friggatriskaidekaphobic
Join date: Nov 2004
859 IQ
#8
Something you might want to think about is using triplet eighth notes instead of sixteenths. It will go better with the swing feel and not sound so rhythmically off where you have sixteenths.

Other than that, I liked some of the harmonies you have. Nice jazz sound (sounds a bit off with the distortion, though.) If you wanted a bit more of a blues sound, you could make all of your backing chords 7 chords (like C7, G7 and F7) and make the backing guitar sound a jazz guitar.

Overall, nice work. Care to crit my latest? Link is in my sig.
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Spark1284
Registered User
Join date: Feb 2004
244 IQ
#10
the only thing i can really say is that the harmonizing wasnt so good. nothings really bad with this, and not much to crit butt i just dont feel it. its just there
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fav13andac1)c
Poor son of a gun Texan
Join date: Feb 2005
2,021 IQ
#11
Ok heres a new updated version...

I dont know if i'm finished yet, but I think I'm close!

(attachment deleted)

EDIT: It's at the bottom post!!! and im finished...

Last edited by fav13andac1)c at Dec 12, 2006,
Pure_Morning
Boo
Join date: Nov 2004
369 IQ
#13
First I must say why are you playing minor pentatonics over major chords? (The Cmajor and Gmajor)

Sounded slightly off to me.
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altosaxgeek5
Registered User
Join date: Apr 2006
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#14
Nice leads, but it sounds very, very cluttered and dissonant with the minor pentatonics over the overdriven guitar playing open major chords. I think you could simplify the chords, or just play them on a clean electric, and it would sound much better.
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Last edited by altosaxgeek5 at Nov 24, 2006,
Nunwhxre 666
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#15
Well, the new updated version is pretty good. I really like the newest parts. But, I do agree with a few people who've critted before me, the minor pentatonic over major chords does clash, and that's what's causing the unwanted dissonance. But, still a pretty decent peice, nonetheless. 7/10
Quote by 1201ZJ
Well this calls for a beer, Uncle-Dad Cletus!

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HAAAAA! Jokes on you! I high fived you with the hand i fapped with!
fav13andac1)c
Poor son of a gun Texan
Join date: Feb 2005
2,021 IQ
#16
Quote by psychotim
Ok, this was just strange.
The length of the notes where strange, the rhythem was strange.

Maybe just not my kind of music, i dont know, strange.


it's called a swing feel
Randyrhoads2222
("'\(*,.,*)/'")
Join date: Nov 2003
141 IQ
#17
Having both the lead and and the rhythm heavily swung makes it sound garish or something. I'd make the rhythm into triplets or else quarter notes.

Oh yeah and you should have some parts which sound nice but let the beat drop some. Like beavis and butthead said "the lame parts are there to make the cool parts better."
Deth Toll
Registered User
Join date: Nov 2006
142 IQ
#18
Very catchy blues song, I think. Good use of innovation. Can't wait until it's finish.

Add a good bass line to it, please. It's needs the bass. It's calling for it!


https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=474839
fav13andac1)c
Poor son of a gun Texan
Join date: Feb 2005
2,021 IQ
#19
Quote by Deth Toll
Very catchy blues song, I think. Good use of innovation. Can't wait until it's finish.

Add a good bass line to it, please. It's needs the bass. It's calling for it!


https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=474839



sorry man i dont have guitar pro...
RPotts
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Join date: Jan 2006
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#22
It didn't flow, too many times the rhythm guitar held a chord and a lead lick was played, they seemed kinda cliche and outa place. I thought the outro didn't flow well and seemed like more of a breakdown or bridge than an outro. And generaly, but not always, don't use 16th or 32nd notes that aren't in triplets with a swing feel. They don't synch up and seem off time. Its a good start, and some of the licks are good but you might want to make the rhythm more standard, like 12 bar blues or some "format"
Yeah Dimebag is not the "Greatest Guitarist" of all time... Hendrix maybe... I must go get food to eat with my mouth

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benjonotbanjo
i dont play the banjo.
Join date: Aug 2006
303 IQ
#23
nice, my only suggestion is to revise bars 1-7 of the lead guitar, it's not up to par with the rest of the soloing (its not entirely in key it sounded like). other than that, it sounds great.
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fav13andac1)c
Poor son of a gun Texan
Join date: Feb 2005
2,021 IQ
#24
Quote by RPotts
It didn't flow, too many times the rhythm guitar held a chord and a lead lick was played, they seemed kinda cliche and outa place. I thought the outro didn't flow well and seemed like more of a breakdown or bridge than an outro. And generaly, but not always, don't use 16th or 32nd notes that aren't in triplets with a swing feel. They don't synch up and seem off time. Its a good start, and some of the licks are good but you might want to make the rhythm more standard, like 12 bar blues or some "format"



its because im not done and its not an outro...and im working on your other suggestions!!!
Garb
Registered User
Join date: Jul 2005
1,776 IQ
#27
Sounded pretty good. Didn't hear anything bad. Good job. =)
riffmasta93
Registered User
Join date: Oct 2006
95 IQ
#28
i liked it good job man!
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mattvl
Registered User
Join date: Dec 2006
297 IQ
#30
I actually like the tempo, some of the trill sections seemed a little out of place but that's not really for me to criticize, just what I would have changed. Seems like you're getting onto a poppier version of (what the last guy said) a Gn'R ballad.