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halfback_712
Registered User
Join date: Sep 2006
1,345 IQ
#1
Tell your stories about when you got hit in the balls the hardest and most painfully or when you did something to hit someone else in the balls.

Heres mine:

I was at my friends house and this one kid was there that i kinda new but i wasn't really good friends with him. He was practicing his golf in the back yard. When i arrived, I saw that he was golfing so i stood out of the way. He was trying to perform a flop shot, (whatever that is, I don't golf) and he hit it funny. It normally woulnd't have came my direction but it his the club at a weird spot. A golf ball comes hurling at me easily 80 miles per hour. It hits me dead on the money. I was on the ground for 15 minutes and my friends were in a laughing fit. My dick red and tender when i checked to make sure everything was ok.
bimsterfls
Yoshi!
Join date: Dec 2002
170 IQ
#2
well, I don't have any interesting stories, but I do like your sig; I'm a wrestler too.
acoustic-fish
Comforting Sounds
Join date: Feb 2006
489 IQ
#3
my friend threw a bowling ball at me when i was on his trampoline, and it bounced just underneath me as i was coming down... i couldnt move for about 5 minutes
SeveralSpecies
UG Senior Member
Join date: Nov 2006
205 IQ
#4
lmao he didnt hit a good flop shot then,


i was playin football (the kind where you use your feet) and im a goalkeeper so you would expect i get hit there all the time. Well this time was another poor fellow. I punted the ball sky-high and one of the guys on the other team tries to, ya know, head the ball. Well he missjudged the ball and it came down straight on his crotch.

I guess he got his head on it after all.
Oblivious16037
GO VIKINGS!
Join date: Nov 2005
88 IQ
#5
This kid I know got shot it the tip of the dick with an airsoft gun from like 5 feet off. I wasn't there but it was supposed to be hilarious.
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Jonjy2
Weeeeeeeee
Join date: Jun 2006
2,719 IQ
#6
Lol!!

Umm, A long time ago when i was like 10, which was probably before I aprecciated the pain of hurtin your balls. Anyways, I was trying to jump over a fence and I tripped and fell (feet first) onto a post that was stickin out of the ground. And I landed on i just right, (right on the money as you would put it) and that was probably the worst time i ever heard my balls. Although there are other times, that one was the one i remember best..lol
Dirge Humani
Tyler
Join date: Sep 2006
282 IQ
#7
My friends were playing baseball (kinda). They pitch across the street, and a wall is the strike zone. Well, I'm up on the wall, being umpire and getting any stray pitches. The person at bat hits a line drive, it hits a friend in the nads. He gets pissed, and throws it at my friend. He dodged. I didn't. If you ever watch baseball, I was kinda crouching like the catchers do. The ball hit me square in the nuts.

Was the most hilarious thing ever, except for the hurting.
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Axis Of Evil
Fire is your friend.
Join date: Jun 2006
499 IQ
#8
I was at school and it's lunch. I walk up to my friend just as he finished saying to someone else "That can get people hurt." He noticed me walk up and said "Like this!" before hitting me in the balls. About 20 seconds later, someone else came up to me and got me again as I was recovering.

I ALMOST hit someone in the balls with a bowling ball once. It missed by a few inches.
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heaven's gate
Banned
Join date: Jun 2006
432 IQ
#9
i was kicked in the balls by my sister for some reason


i heard a story of a guy hiding a b.b gun down his pants from the cops, and when he was pulling it out, the sight got caught on his sack and it ripped open
Eric 666
Banned
Join date: Jan 2006
1,687 IQ
#10
Softball + Me Being 6 Years Old + Balls + 16 Year Old Frustrated Softball Player + Me Being In The Way = One Hell Of An Afternoon.
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Matchbox
Join date: Oct 2003
75 IQ
#12
i got into an arguement with someone a few years back during a baseball game....

Only got one left now
Greenfinger182
Drunk Dancin'
Join date: Apr 2004
2,683 IQ
#13
Quote by SeveralSpecies
lmao he didnt hit a good flop shot then,


i was playin football (the kind where you use your feet) and im a goalkeeper so you would expect i get hit there all the time. Well this time was another poor fellow. I punted the ball sky-high and one of the guys on the other team tries to, ya know, head the ball. Well he missjudged the ball and it came down straight on his crotch.

I guess he got his head on it after all.

Oh **** I got hit even worse while I was goalkeeping once. There was a struggle for the ball near my net (this was in high school, so they could get as close to me as they wanted), and this one kid tried kicking it in real ****ing hard while I was standing right in front of him. So, first the ball hit me square on the nuts, and then it was followed closely by his foot, hitting me once again right on the money. I was sitting for the rest of the class.
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tommyt
Big up the pandas!
Join date: Mar 2005
477 IQ
#14
me and a mate of mine were at a house party and a load of us were sitting round on some sofa's, my mate goes to walk out the door to the kitchen and get another drink and this random girl who we had just met just full on punched him in the balls

good times
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halfback_712
Registered User
Join date: Sep 2006
1,345 IQ
#15
Quote by matchbox
i got into an arguement with someone a few years back during a baseball game....

Only got one left now


do tell
kse5440
Banned
Join date: Nov 2006
96 IQ
#16
one time i was having practice with just my drummer and he was going into an insane five minute solo. i was providing a basic rhythm for it on my bass and all of a sudden he throws his sticks directly between my legs. it hurt to stand up for a few minutes.
halfback_712
Registered User
Join date: Sep 2006
1,345 IQ
#17
i hate it when your standing next to someone then all the sudden you hear "BALL TAP!"
matchbox
Matchbox
Join date: Oct 2003
75 IQ
#18
Quote by halfback_712
do tell


well basically it involves harsh words, a bat and the painful area between my legs...


work the rest out
astepabove
Gamertags?
Join date: Oct 2005
140 IQ
#19
i dont have any good stories of myself getting hit in the balls, but i have a good story of my friend (in this story, known as "perv") getting hit in the balls.


We were walking past the middle school one day when the high school was closed b/c of finals. He saw these 8th graders that he thought were "hot" so he went over to them and started hitting on them. One of the girls was the sister of another kid we were with. so, i came up with the idea to play a little prank on Perv. i told my friend to text his sister to start kicking perv's ass. I had my video phone at the ready. His sister mistook it for "kick him in the balls 20 times" and did just that. I recorded the whole thing. The poor boy cried. We nearly had to drag him home.

Good times.
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Slinov
UG's Blue Ranger
Join date: May 2006
231 IQ
#20
probs the worst one i say was during a school sports day on the hurdles, the guy didt judge it properly and one leg caught it on the back, the hurdle came shooting up and nearly cut him in half, how we did laugh
some_guy
UG's Cool Guy
Join date: Jul 2006
396 IQ
#21
Quote by halfback_712
i hate it when your standing next to someone then all the sudden you hear "BALL TAP!"


we call it BANG-KOCK

anyway i playing basketball and i was owning this guy playing rough and pushing him heaps so he gets pissed and chucks the basket ball at my balls....i still feel the pain
Some Guy?
matchbox
Matchbox
Join date: Oct 2003
75 IQ
#22
Quote by some_guy

anyway i playing basketball and i was owning this guy playing rough and pushing him heaps so he gets pissed and chucks the basket ball at my balls....i still feel the pain


that was your own fault really
some_guy
UG's Cool Guy
Join date: Jul 2006
396 IQ
#23
Quote by matchbox
that was your own fault really


it was just a bit of fun at lunch time and he should of thrown it at my head or stomach not the balls
Some Guy?
Kid_Thorazine
Registered Sadist
Join date: Jul 2004
267 IQ
#24
Quote by halfback_712
i hate it when your standing next to someone then all the sudden you hear "BALL TAP!"


yeah morons liked to do that in the showers back when i was in highschool, one time some dude was stupid enough to do that to me, so about a minute later when he wasnt prepared i snapped a wet towel right a his balls, then he fell to the ground and started crying, what a little bitch.
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pimpslap1236
Banned
Join date: Nov 2006
486 IQ
#25
ive got 2 or 3. first isnt spectacular. back in about grade 4 we were being stupid at teh playground throwing rocks at each other, and one of the rocks hit me on the right one, and then is a sharp rock. hurt like a mother****er. for some reason it hurts alot more if only 1 gets hit. my second story was when i was climbing a tree. long story short a branch broke and i fell about 5 feet and then smacked my balls on a branch below, and then hitting the ground, i also fractured my wrist from that one. those are my stories.
walker-rose
Not Rose Walker
Join date: Aug 2006
2,331 IQ
#26
well this was a couple of weeks ago. Me and some of my friends were weight lifting and one of my friends was getting on this machine where you sit on it and pull the weights up, and as hes sitting down (there is a bar that is supposed to keep you from flying upwards) he hits the bar and just stops.
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Walker Rose.
Breakdown
Next to Nothing
Join date: May 2006
101 IQ
#27
I was playing soccer a few years ago and me and my friend were both running for the ball, and of course he gets there first and kicks it as hard as he can when I'm two feet away. Hits me square in the balls. I immediately drop to the ground, and I'm not afraid to admit that I cried, and passed out for a minute. Then I rolled off the field.
Blood_Covered
Dead to the world.
Join date: Dec 2004
248 IQ
#28
I have a REALLY bad story about getting hit in the balls, but only 3 other people know it beside me, therefore im not going to share it on the internet, because its that bad. But the second worse ball pain ive felt came the other night. I was training and i took this kids back, I had the top position and I set the hooks in. Then I preceded to roll him over so that he was belly up, meanwhile I could sink in the choke. When I was rolling him over, I didnt have the hooks in tight enough, and it made alot of space. So when I hit my back, it created a shockwave kind of thing, and he fell flat on me, and my balls got crushed so hard, I had to stop training (for the rest of the round at least) it hurt so effin bad. I cannot explain how bad it hurt.

edit: I train in BJJ.
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TheHeartbreaker
The Pope of Zeppelinism
Join date: Apr 2005
1,584 IQ
#29
These haven't happened to me, but I was present when they happened to my friends. So...

At a friends birthday party, we decided to go golfing. My friend's brother was about twenty feet away from my friend, and not in direct line with the hole, so he thought, "What the **** could happen?". My friend, who was still very bad at the time, basically hits the ball dead-on into his brother's nuts, who not only falls over, but falls, along with his bag, into a creek he was standing next to that cuts through the course.

Another story, which I feel is worse, happened about five years ago. My friends and I had basically been playing hockey every day of the summer from nine in the morning until four in the afternoon. One of my friends had broken his stick, and the only one we had left was this fairly small one that measured up to about his hip (he was very tall for his age). As a joke, he would run with it between his legs. However, one time he was chasing the ball (street hockey), and as it neared the curb he tripped. The stick hit the curb, but got stuck into a division crack (as in the cracks that are made from when they put in a new segment). His body when full-force through and broke the shaft of the stick.

He was out for a few days with purple testicles.
halfback_712
Registered User
Join date: Sep 2006
1,345 IQ
#30
this is the threadstarter and i got another one.

When i was younger, i remember i was just getting my first adult sized bike. You know when theres a bike thats a little big for you have to kinda hop onto the seat to get going? Well, I missed the seat.
SeveralSpecies
UG Senior Member
Join date: Nov 2006
205 IQ
#33
Im sorry i had to post before you quadruple posted. Lord knows what couldve happened!
RandyismyIdol
80s metal head
Join date: Aug 2005
217 IQ
#34
One of my younger brother's friends was over my house with one of those plastic toy jousting swords with the big ball tips, and well....jabbed.....ouch. I had to get an ultrasound to make sure blood was still getting there.
One of my friend's dad knew someone who apparently tried to jump over some firehydrant type thing and didn't quite clear it well enough. Something was left behind...
halfback_712
Registered User
Join date: Sep 2006
1,345 IQ
#35
my friend has 3 bals because one got chipped off when he was trying to jump a baseball fence to retrieve a home run. He never told his parents or got it checked.
The Virtuoso
L'Étranger
Join date: May 2005
3,915 IQ
#36
One time me and my brother were playing (don't remember what) when we were younger and I threw a blanket at him and kicked, for some reason, with full force (Keep in mind that I used to be a punter for the football team). Hit him square in the package and when I looked at him it looked like he just took one in the ass.

This isn't really a story but I had a friend who I would hit in the nuts everytime we would hang out. I wouldn't do it on purpose but some way or another I always succeeded in smacking his pecker, for example one time we were looking for something buried in rocks and when I threw one behind me and BAM smack in the dick!
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Guitarist132
sam
Join date: Jun 2005
1,093 IQ
#37
Quote by halfback_712
my friend has 3 bals because one got chipped off when he was trying to jump a baseball fence to retrieve a home run. He never told his parents or got it checked.



so he had 4 to start?
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halfback_712
Registered User
Join date: Sep 2006
1,345 IQ
#38
NOOOO lol he had 2 and one got smashed in 2 parts so now he has 3