.. / .- -- / --. --- -..
Join date: Jan 2004
2,846 IQ
i've written a lot more than just this,
but this is the latest one that i've done.
it's not that original or anything. but. whatever.

I just want to sleep forever.

.. / .- -- / --. --- -..
Join date: Jan 2004
2,846 IQ
they basically go to the bass rhythm in those parts.

I just want to sleep forever.

Nunwhxre 666
You have ****ed up now!
Join date: Aug 2006
1,430 IQ
Good stuff man, good stuff. Really catchy melodies. 8/10.

If you get a chance, crit mine? Links in sig.
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HAAAAA! Jokes on you! I high fived you with the hand i fapped with!
Join date: Nov 2004
369 IQ
Damn this is good. The interlude to me is killing for a solo though.
My "Rig":

Fender American Telecaster
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Join date: Jan 2006
1,613 IQ
It was alright compared to your other songs.

I really liked your other songs with the time signature changes, they were more chaotic and more melodic and less generic.

Not to say this was bad, but I don't this song really shows your style.

But I don't really know who you are in real life so who am I to tell you what your style is.
~DrEaM ThEaTeR~
Registered User
Join date: Jul 2006
726 IQ
that interlude was incredible and there definitly needs to be a solo coming out of that sucker!
Registered User
Join date: Apr 2006
177 IQ
Ooo, I looovvve how you had melody notes played inside and a step above the notes of the powerchords, and I could actually hear them and they didn't sound ungodly dissonant. I salute for that. I also just really like this piece as a whole, great job. I have no criticisms so far....nope.. great job. 8.5/10

Crit mine?
Member #4 of the "I have parents over 50 and i'm a teen" club, pm tanglewoodguit to join.
Last edited by altosaxgeek5 at Nov 28, 2006,
Deth Toll
Registered User
Join date: Nov 2006
142 IQ
No offense, but I didn't really like it. It was catchy, yeah, but didn't hold my attention.

First thing, a song like this doesn't need to be played in a drop tuning. Most of it is just strumming power chords (Along with the harmonies added in between).

The interlude was good, but as someone else said, a solo would pick this song up a lot, and my suggestion is you put it after the interlude. The interlude in my opinion is the only great thing in the song because it gives a building up feeling, like the song is going somewhere, but then it ends and it doesn't go where it sort of felt like it was going. Not to sound cheesy, but it tricked me, and not in a good way.

The outro should be the most powerful part of the song. Not necessarily loud, but powerful. Give it more of a finish feeling. Again, like I said with the interlude, you start low and then build up. Add more contrast to it.
Last edited by Deth Toll at Nov 28, 2006,
Registered User
Join date: Oct 2006
443 IQ
Kinda generic (it's already been done several times in metalcore), but that aside it's a pretty well written piece. Not a huge fan of the intro, but after that, the riffing is pretty good. And I agree with Deth that after the interlude is the perfect time for a solo. Adding a guitar solo will really bring this songs impact up. Atm I'd give is a 6.5/10 (but with a solo it should improve).

Please crit my "Prog. Thrash Song" in my sig if you get the chance (the one under "works in progress"). I finally finished it and I'm not getting much crit for it.
C'mon, yell at me.
Join date: Oct 2006
305 IQ
I liked it, but it gets quite repetitive. Have the interlude repeat twice instead of 4x and write a solo, that's my advice.

And the last two measures (or maybe just the last one) sounded bad. It's like you just cut the song off.