Registered User
Join date: Feb 2006
2,550 IQ
i really really liked that alot lol. very good, can you play it with a band or anything??
Join date: Oct 2005
1,652 IQ
yeh thats what were doing were gona put it on myspace after we record it shouldnt be up long after christmas if we get enough gd replies i might post link to our myspace wen its uploaded????
Registered User
Join date: Aug 2006
827 IQ
I like it. It has a very catchy riff.
A couple words of criticism, from a background with theory; You could make some inversions of some of the riffs to make it contrast.
Because something like this, that it is about 5:30 min long needs to differ to keep the listener interested.
Also on some of the cadences you make later in the song when you slow down; sounds like the song has ended before it reaally has or before it should. You should consider inverting some bass notes to the first inversion (3rd of chord is on bottom) so this is prevented.
Like I said This has alot of potential, but needs to get neater. also, you have a really good ear to make it sound like this because all these mistakes are very slight, technical mistakes.
So, unless you intentionally put in these Tricky cadences to trick the listener, i would suggest changin em.
Good job
The Canadian Firecrotch
Join date: May 2006
98 IQ
Intro: I turn this on, and hear an amazing clean guitar riff. But I have a suggestion. In stead of having the drums build up to the Main Riff, have the clean guitars play the last chord, and have a feed back almost sound fade in, and right at the end of the bar, have a snare-bass like in sixteenth notes.

Main Riff: PRetty catchy, but compared to the intro riff, kind of lacking. On Bars 16 and 20, instead of: 3, 3, 3, 5, have something like: 3, 3, 5, 3. Idk, maybe it would sound good.

Verse: Cool clean riff comes back. I can hear vocals fit perfectly into this, but I find it short.

Chorus: This is a pretty hardcore riff in my opinion. Reminds me of Metallica for some reason. Nothing wrong with it I can see.

Interlude Phase 1: I don;t really like this part. I think it's the backing guitar tha's turning me off from this riff.

Phase 2: A build up almost here. And it kicks in with bar chords in bar 77. Once again, good, but not as good as the rest of the song.

Phase 3: The acoustic returns (again). Instead of the same riff, however, you decide to mix it up, and it sounds great. The drums are good here, and prove fast drums can be used in a slow part.

Extension: Don't like the super long drum/bass break.

Phase IV (4): Better than the rest of the phases, personally. I have no problems with this.

Phase V (5): Too boring for me. And too slow. Skipped it.

A cool ending too.

And, on a final note, it gets repetitive. And as iHeart_LesPauls said, you need more variety to keep a listener interested.

it's a 100%, but know that it could be 110%. Crit mine?
An Ideal Revenge baby!
Join date: May 2005
1,482 IQ
Where is it? Did you edit it out?