South-of-Heaven
UG's Ultimate Carcass Fan
Join date: Nov 2006
551 IQ
#1
Hey. im 14 and was recently recruited as a singer/songwriter for a band at my school. This is v1 of my first song. It's metal, and has influences from satyricon and slayer. I got the time sig shifts idea from Metallica's "...and justice for all" and the particularly long acoustic intro is influenced by nirvana. anyways please crit this song and tell me what you think could make it better. The intro is really long and is one riff going over and over so skip it once you have heard the general build of it. i haven't written lyrics to it yet but when i have it wont be as boring.

Cheers.
Attachments:
Stripped of all Worth.zip
Quote by MightyAl
I lean towards Butthole Surfers because only a butthole would carry a surfboard around a town.

Teh Gearz:

Cruiser Stratocaster
Feng Ling G15 Amplifier
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Minty Fresh
Join date: Jun 2006
412 IQ
#2
Good effort, but I can't say I like it; it feels like just random drop-D power chords without any sense of rhythm or purpose. Also, in my eyes, acoustic intros are supposed to be pretty, haunting, or both, and I don't feel you captured that very well. All the same, I know how much time writing an entire song takes, so I applaud your efforts. Keep at it.
South-of-Heaven
UG's Ultimate Carcass Fan
Join date: Nov 2006
551 IQ
#3
thanks a lot =] . i actually wrote this a while ago but i just thought i would see if i was heading in the right direction. so thanks
Quote by MightyAl
I lean towards Butthole Surfers because only a butthole would carry a surfboard around a town.

Teh Gearz:

Cruiser Stratocaster
Feng Ling G15 Amplifier
Digitech Grunge Pedal
Daphon E20PH Phaser Pedal
ikedawg
Resident Beast Man
Join date: Nov 2006
44 IQ
#4
I like it, i think its in a perfect direction for the syle of song it is... id stick with it, theres nothing wrong with making a song full of power chords if it sounds good.. i like the way it sounds. People in these forums have a problem with music that doesnt have sweeping arpeggios all over the place, or pianos and other shit like that. It sounds good, its very playable live, would sound good with lyrics overtop of it. keep it dude
Ibanez Xiphos 7 String
Carvin V3 Head
Randall RH300G3
Randall 2x12-1x15 Straight Cab
Randall 4x12 V30's Angles Cab
Paddles
Minty Fresh
Join date: Jun 2006
412 IQ
#5
Quote by ikedawg
People in these forums have a problem with music that doesnt have sweeping arpeggios all over the place, or pianos and other shit like that.


That's not a very fair statement. I just didn't like the song.
ikedawg
Resident Beast Man
Join date: Nov 2006
44 IQ
#6
It wasnt directed towards you, it did kinda come out that way. My bad.
Ibanez Xiphos 7 String
Carvin V3 Head
Randall RH300G3
Randall 2x12-1x15 Straight Cab
Randall 4x12 V30's Angles Cab
Fama
Nubnub
Join date: Dec 2006
197 IQ
#7
Hmm... I didn't really like the acoustic intro. Reminded me of Soul Bleed by Pantera a little, but that's not necessarily bad Also, it's too long but if you plan on putting singing on it, then that's ok.

The Enter Distortion might be better if the fade in was shorter. I did like the riff's for the most part. And the drums. I did not like the soolo however. You should try using a scale (Tools -> Scales) or at least following a key in your songs. I think it really would make especially solos sound a lot better.

[shameless self plug]
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=7697345 Crit please.
[/shameless self plug]


Edit: Also, of course you can do it behind the nut, but since you're probably gonna do that fret 0 vibrato and bend on the next string on fret 5, I think you should make it fret 5... Nothing big, tho
GiantRaven
UG Spammer
Join date: Apr 2004
1,301 IQ
#8
I think playing 8th notes consistently at that slow a speed doesn't sound good at all, either speed it up or change the rhythm, it makes the song sound incredably boring and hard to listen to. Same with the constant cymbals in the verse

I do like the drum solo though
South-of-Heaven
UG's Ultimate Carcass Fan
Join date: Nov 2006
551 IQ
#9
so....basically my song is bollocks. dont' worry, i'll work on it.
Quote by MightyAl
I lean towards Butthole Surfers because only a butthole would carry a surfboard around a town.

Teh Gearz:

Cruiser Stratocaster
Feng Ling G15 Amplifier
Digitech Grunge Pedal
Daphon E20PH Phaser Pedal