#1
It was quarter past ten
When i felt the chill
you said, It's okay
It'll be alright

I no thats a lie
I no your wrong
fate was right
i wont make it long

dont tell me
It'll be okay
and dont tell me
that they are on there way
cuz i dont care
i dont give a shit
im already bleeding
ive already been hit

it's not okay
no im not alright
i'll just admit
that i lost the fight

well this waters cold
and the knifes hurt
justa bleeding hole
and the taste of dirt

dont tell me
It'll be okay
and dont tell me
that they are on there way
cuz i dont care
i dont give a shit
im already bleeding
ive already been hit

your words arent helping
they're making it worse
throw me off the edge now
put me in a hearse

im so wet
and im so cold
this sint funny
this joke is old

dont tell me
It'll be okay
and dont tell me
that they are on there way
cuz i dont care
i dont give a shit
im already bleeding
ive already been hit

is it getting darker
no i see a light
it's getting closer
so just say goodnight
#2
"this sint" is not a phrase. This isn't or this is not is what you were going for I believe

This isn't punk either. Punk is stickin' it to the man. this is more like shying away.

I'd cut some of the verses out here. Your last 2 verses before the last chorus etc aren't too great and would not be missed. the rhyming here is predictable and pretty boring, almost tiring. Try and liven it up. also, longer lines would give you more flow and pace to it- this is kinda really stop start.

So start over simple here then. Flow, rhythm and rhyme. You wanna be a punk? Then repetition of catchy lines aswell.

Crit back in my sig, if you could please.
#3
yeh i have bad typing skills haha. I guess it isnt really punk, i only called it that becuase my band is overall punk, The last two verses i added becuase the song was too short without them
#4
Tommorow i'll be posting a new song that i think is much better then this one so check it out