#1
Am I alone
Or just forgotten
A space in your mind
Left rotten
The universe may be blank
but i'm making too many withdrawls from the bank

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Chorus:
Far away, where thoughts drift off
in and out, through my opend mind
words flow, pass, and slip away..........
-------------------------------------------------- -----------


Somewhere in the space between us, love and a fear
a fear of death, a fear of rejection,
It's not a fear of death, It's a fear of wether we can die,
wether were alive already,
or just a glance of life in the universe

-----------------------------------------------
Chorus:
Far away, where thoughts drift off
in and out, through my opend mind
words flow, pass, and slip away..........
-------------------------------------------------- -----------


Your contributions go unoticed,
as they pass through the universe,
as we're played like puppets,
by the great puppeter in the sky,
with no regard for our feelings,
she's too cocky, and he leaves his friends in the dirt

-----------------------------------------------
Chorus:
Far away, where thoughts drift off
in and out, through my opend mind
words flow, pass, and slip away..........
-------------------------------------------------- -----------

Time passes however,
and more friends are ground into the dirt,
pushed farther away,
until one day,
the dam breaks open,
many years too late,
for them to realize, it's all for not,
it's all forgot,
-----------------------------------------------
Chorus:
Far away, where thoughts drift off
in and out, through my opend mind
words flow, pass, and slip away..........
-------------------------------------------------- -----------
(next bit is wisperd )
He's hopeless isn't he,
cocky says to friend grinder,
friend grinder walks away,
why does he do that? cocky says to hopeless
hopeless gets eight days of luck,
It's just his way,
FriendGrinder walks the halls,
perhaps full of remorse,
perhaps plotting his next death of a soul.

-----------------------------------------------
FINAL CHORUS
Far away, where thoughts drift off
in and out, through my opend mind
words flow, pass, and slip away..........
they wonder where the magic went
wonder if they're all hell bent
wonder if
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#3
but i'm making too many withdrawls from the bank


that makes no ****ing sense u ****ing n00b
T0/<e


Quote by danilo19
randomly yell "freebird!" then the rednecks will like you.


respect

Quote by cnorthern
If a girl is playing guitar......she is likely a dude in drag.
#4
i dont know.... i dont like it

i found it below Panic!

sorry,
i just dont like it.

i usually give good crits... full cris but i couldnt on this one, i couldnt find a place to start..
i dont like it, sorry, and dont get mad at this, thats why you put it on here

but disreguard what i said in my crit, its your song, if you like it, make up the musical part and play it, who knows, there are some songs that they lyrics make no sense at all but theyre still really popular.
#5
I didn't like that thing about taking to many withdrawls from the bank. I felt that the chorus was a bit weak. And I think it could have flowed better in general. Also. the whispered part didn't make much sense to me.

But I did like the concept of the second verse.

Don't be discouraged, you definitly have potential and room to improve.
"Imagine all the people, sharing all the world"
-John Lennon
#6
This is some of my weaker stuff anyways, ah well.

By too many withdrawls from the bank, I meant I feel like i'm using people for things too much.
#7
Also, the wisperd part is a turnaround, the part about 8 years is a sort of inside joke thing.

Cocky and FG are people who used to be my friends.
#8
I see. Well it makes a little more sense now.
"Imagine all the people, sharing all the world"
-John Lennon