#1
Something i've been working on for a few days, the music to it would probably be of the indie genre. I was a bit unsure about the word "pornography" on here, if it's a problem then i can easily block it out.
I know that i owe some people crits already but i deff. will get back to you at some point in the near future so Crit for crit.
Thanks.



My mind has become an unconvincing shade of blue
And my heart has been stolen by the stubbornest of greens.
My dear would you be so kind as to retreat your defences?
It’s okay to stop denying it; I know I’m almost through.


I’m watching pornography; are you thinking of me?
Stray...
I’m watching pornography; are you thinking of me?
Sway...
I’m watching pornography; are you thinking of me?
I'm going to stay.


I want to shove my hands down his trousers
And remove a certain undergarment
Such inappropriate behaviour,
Coming from someone so conservative.


I’m watching pornography; are you thinking of me?
Stray...
I’m watching pornography; are you thinking of me?
Sway...
I’m watching pornography; are you thinking of me?
I'm going to stay. Forever

I’m watching pornography; are you thinking of me?
Because I’m watching pornography, whilst thinking of you
#4
I actually like it, its not the most complex of songs but at the moment I'm slightly intoxicated and that doesnt matter at all to me.

I cant offer much more criticism than that.
#5
Quote by _propaganda
Something i've been working on for a few days, the music to it would probably be of the indie genre. I was a bit unsure about the word "pornography" on here, if it's a problem then i can easily block it out.
I know that i owe some people crits already but i deff. will get back to you at some point in the near future so Crit for crit.
Thanks.



My mind has become an unconvincing shade of blue
And my heart has been stolen by the stubbornest of greens.
My dear would you be so kind as to retreat your defences?
It’s okay to stop denying it; I know I’m almost through.


I’m watching pornography; are you thinking of me?
Stray...
I’m watching pornography; are you thinking of me?
Sway...
I’m watching pornography; are you thinking of me?
I'm going to stay.


I want to shove my hands down his trousers
And remove a certain undergarment
Such inappropriate behaviour,
Coming from someone so conservative.


I’m watching pornography; are you thinking of me?
Stray...
I’m watching pornography; are you thinking of me?
Sway...
I’m watching pornography; are you thinking of me?
I'm going to stay. Forever

I’m watching pornography; are you thinking of me?
Because I’m watching pornography, whilst thinking of you


ur a retard
kurt cobain is rockin in the after life

guitars:
fender stratocaster


amps:
fender 15 wat

Quote by BLAHINIP
hahahahaha i dont believe in religion at all but still wtf worshiping satan i mean i could see him as a bar buddy but a master
#8
I was surprised, this is actually decent. I clicked on it expecting it to be some poor written juvenile rhyme about jacking off, but hell was I wrong. This is actually pretty good, man. I could see this as an actual song, I really love the ending, it's perfect. I don't really see anything to improve, except maybe add some more content, it does seem to be lacking something. Other than that, awesome job, man.

To Grim_Ripper666- If you're going to leave a comment like that, I would suggest leaving something to support that statement. Otherwise, keep your comments to yourself.
Cause I love feelin' dirty
And I love feelin' cheap
And I love it when you hurt me
So drive those staples deep
#9
I am actually watching pornogrpahy and thinking of you propaganda, how ironic?

*Turns off tele out of fright of thinking another man while watching pornography*
#10
I really enjoyed the bluntess of the word forever in the second to last stanza.
The intro drew lots of images, the colors and words were a good contradiction to some of the preconceived thoughts I had about a peice with this title.

Mines on the front page if you'd please.
Quote by soccermom
Of course eating unbelievable amounts of anything can probably harm you, but i chose bananas because they look like willies.
#11
I expected this to be pretty stupid from the name, but it sounds good. I LOVE the first verse. The second one is good too the first 2 lines seem very to the point and blunt, but since you've just heard a chorus about pornography i think it works quite well. If the song name didnt give it away, you'd have quite a 'wtf?' factor when after that first verse the chorus came in.

Its very good, the subject is hard to use without being overly perverted and without meaning, but i think you've got something good here.
#12
Quote by Razi El
I am actually watching pornogrpahy and thinking of you propaganda, how ironic?

*Turns off tele out of fright of thinking another man while watching pornography*


Could it be possible that a woman watches pornography?