#1
another by my friend matt


Out of my head

INTRO
(Child’s voice)
she loves me, she loves me not,
she loves me, she loves me not…(echoes)

______________________________________________

I can’t get you out of my head
You’re always on my mind
The only reason I smile
The only one who brings me joy…

With out you the sorrow consumes me
The anger surrounds me
The darkness burns my empty soul
But when I see you…

You’re eyes burn right through me
The darkness around me is broken
My whole world is perfect,
Until you leave…

I can’t get you out of my head
You’re always on my mind
The only reason I smile
The only one who brings me joy…

I am always with you
Even when you don’t see me
Silently begging for your attention
But I never get it…

I know you don’t love me
So get the out of my head!
You don’t even know me
So get out of my head!!
You’re not mine I know
So get the out of my head!!!
You must love to torture
Because you won’t get out of my HEAD!!!
#2
This is great. The only problem though, the ending was a bit disappointing. Compared to the rest, it seemed way to elementary and simple for me. The concept is great, you need better deliverance. Besides that, everything else is awesome. Great job, man.
Cause I love feelin' dirty
And I love feelin' cheap
And I love it when you hurt me
So drive those staples deep
#3
I like your basic structure quite a lot, you ahve a very good chorus...the only thing i can think of structure wise is the introduction of a rhyming pattern but i do realise that you would then have a hard time making the song work... i agree with nerk to an extent, the ending is fine but not for this song...it is too much of a change from the style of the song...unless you are trying to a major style change like in Disturbed's "Down With the Sickness" but even if that is what you were aiming for, big changes like that rarely work well i would save that ending for another song instead
well done

please crit my songs so take me away is MY latest song cos into the gorund was written by my drummer
Snyper