#1
Hey guys, this song is based on "Bodas de Sangre" by Federico Garcia Lorca, mixed with similar things that happened to me/I felt that sort of happened to correspond with the play. I hope you enjoy it!


"Curtain Calls"
------------------

I remember falling hard the day I met your arms,
I fell so fast I felt the heat rise underneath my wings.
I recall the darkest brown twin spheres that captured me,
Like a near death crash they reached into the dusk and made me realise my luck.

If you’re to be the death of me, then let’s make our curtain calls,
This mausoleum’s built for one, but there’s room enough for two.
Bridegroom call me Leonardo, I’m here to stake my claim;
I will take back what’s mine.

[Chorus]
Drop your something blue,
Stutter step the moon,
Beneath the stars,
This place is ours, for evermore.

Don’t waste your touch on poisoned hearts that never beat the same,
I’ll ride into the sunset just to hear you scream my name.
Bridegroom call me Leonardo, I’m here to stake my claim;
I will take back what’s mine.
#3
"Curtain Calls"
------------------

I remember falling hard the day I met your arms,
I fell so fast I felt the heat rise underneath my wings.
I recall the darkest brown twin spheres that captured me,
Like a near death crash they reached into the dusk and made me realise my luck.

second line is good but seems a bit forced
last 2 lines are ok but not that good

If you’re to be the death of me, then let’s make our curtain calls,
This mausoleum’s built for one, but there’s room enough for two.
Bridegroom call me Leonardo, I’m here to stake my claim;
I will take back what’s mine.


second line is good . rhyming seems to be forced in many places

[Chorus]
Drop your something blue,
Stutter step the moon,
Beneath the stars,
This place is ours, for evermore


for such big verses chorus is bit small.

Don’t waste your touch on poisoned hearts that never beat the same,
I’ll ride into the sunset just to hear you scream my name.
Bridegroom call me Leonardo, I’m here to stake my claim;
I will take back what’s mine.

above two lines are the one that i liked most
sort of a cliche but not bad
try adding more verse if u can
at some places like i said rhyne was bit forced
u think a bit of more effort and it's good to go

well i guess thats it i guess . i am srry if i came too harsh its a constructive forum
Hi